God and running...:-)

I think A LOT. It's just getting out on paper or on a blog that seems to be the problem. One particular way in which my thoughts are transpired is through running. Running has become something that I absolutely love to do. Usually I run the best when I have a problem I am facing and sometimes I can even come up with a solution to it. Most times this is a prayerful time for me to just be alone with God and my thoughts.


It's really neat living in Spring Lake, MI. They have wonderful bike/running paths so that all may be able to keep an active lifestyle. There are several types of people that run or bike:

-Those who are just starting out and need plenty of encouragement.

-Those who have been at it for a while and are in the middle of the pack.

-Those who are quite advanced in their activity and have a more competitive edge.



Out of these 3 categories I fall in the middle of the pack. One of my favorite things about running/biking is that you can receive verbal or unverbal encouragement from those pass by. I love getting "the knod" from those who are also in the middle of their physical activity. To me that means, "keep it up, you're doing great." Some people will actually speak these words as I'm passing by which is very helpful too. In fact, I was running recently when one of my high school teachers passed by on his bike. Maybe he could tell I was struggling, maybe not. He didn't even know it was me but he still shouted words of affirmation as he passed me by. That really meant something to me and it DID help me to keep going.


I think there is something more here beyond just physical activity. In our Christian walk we are all in vastly different places:
-Some have been Christians for years and are growing more and more each day.
-Others may have also been Christians for years but might have had a time of struggle in which they turned away from God for a period of time.
-Others may be just starting out and are excited about the new life they are starting.
-There are those who are "newer" to Christianity but are growing and growing as well.

We are not all on the same level. We all learn differently and grow differently too. This life is not easy and it was not intended to be that way.

Something that is wonderful is when I receive encouragement from others. They may know what I am dealing with and want to give me a helpful push in the right direction. Even though we may be in a different place in our walks with the Lord the encouragement is still helpful and needed. Just like when I am running--I'll take encouragement from anyone. It definitely helps me to attain my goal and gives me a sense of what I am doing and the importance of not giving up, no matter the difficulty of the task.

"I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me- the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace"
Acts 20:24, NIV

My prayer today

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank you another day to live and be in your presence, for this among the other countless blessings you have given me I do not deserve.

I want to take this time to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the times this week that I did not live up to your calling. I know I mess up often but it is such a comfort to know you are there to pick me up.

Lord this is such a humiliating thing for me to admit but you already know that I am guilty of this. At times I can find myself apathetic about one thing or another and I am not sure why. Maybe I'm not seeking after you enough or maybe I'm not listening. Lord, please forgive me for I know this is a deadly sin with horrific consequences. How can I find myself in this state at times when I have the greatest gift in my life?

Forgive me Lord when my heart does not break for those in need around me. You have called me to give of myself, even when it hurts. When I know there is a need that I can meet and I fail to do so, I am ignoring what is in front of me. I am selfish and wrong; I am sorry. You put people in my life who are thinking of those around them constantly. I am so thankful to you for this gift as they are a constant reminder and example to me. There are needs globally and locally as well. Help me to know where I can be effective. Let me listen to where you want me to go and be used; let me have a willing heart for you, oh God.

My heart should completely break at the thought of your crucifixion. When it does not Lord, forgive me. You gave your life so that I can live which is the greatest sacrifice. How can I not completely break every time? When we have Communion in church my tears fall easily and I am in repentance. Lord, may my tears fall not only during this time but from postlude to prelude as well.

Lord, when I am not kind to others, bring it to my attention. When I am only seeking those who are lovable, help me to seek out those who are more difficult to love. Help me to tame my tongue when it is easier to gossip and be a part of the crowd. Lord, help me to ultimately love as you called me to love, which is at the base of most of this prayer. I cannot live my life without you, nor would I want to attempt to.

Thank you for your sacrifice and for choosing to love me. Thank you for helping me up each and every time I fall. I know I will fall again but your saving love will lift me up. Thank you for your consistency and for being the same; yesterday, today and forever. I love you Lord.

In the quiet, in the stillness I know that you are God...

In the quiet morning I enjoyed today I was reading the book of 1 Thessalonians. Some of the words and concepts are so simple to me but are strong in the meaning of what the church exists to be and what fellow believers are to one another. It is definitely helpful to know that there are those among me who help me to strive to live a more Godly life. It is wonderful when others who are close to me can walk along side me, encouraging me but also praying for me in the things that I struggle with. These are some of the highlights from my reading this morning:

"You became imitators of us and of the Lord; in spite of severe suffering, you welcomed the message with the joy given by the Holy Spirit." (1Thess. 1:6)


---I have experienced some suffering in my life, but none compared to those who are daily persecuted or even those around me who have terrible suffering. I am encouraged by my peers who are faithful to our God through these tough times.

"We were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children. We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us." (1Thess. 2:7-8)


---I love this passage. This book references both being like a gentle mother and a father who is urging them to do what is right. That is exactly how young children grow into adults and how baby Christians grow in the Lord.

"For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory."
(1 Thess. 2:11-12)


---Not only uring them but ENCOURAGING as well.

"Therefore, brothers, in all our distress and persecution we were encouraged about you because of your faith. For now we really live, since you are standing firm in the Lord. How can we thank God enough for you in return for all the joy we have in the presence of our God because of you?"
(1Thess. 3:7-9)


---I am definitely influenced by my surroundings, which can be both good and bad. It is something that I constantly have to be aware of; another reason why it is important to surround myself with people that are seeking after the Lord.

"May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it." (1 Thess. 5:23-24)

---I love the encouragement in this passage. It is extremely difficult to be a Christian: but the one who calls us to do so is FAITHFUL.

"And so you became a model to all the believers in Macedonia and Achaia. The Lord's message rang out from you not only in Macedonia and Achaia—your faith in God has become known everywhere."
(1 Thess 1:7-8)

---This was my favorite part. Not only did others around them recognize their faith but it even stretched further. The ones who saw their faith told others and so on.

Am I living in such a way that others see my faith daily? What do I need to change? I can never become complacent with where I am. I love the fact that our God is constant--his love is consistent and NEVER-CHANGING. He doesn't have to change for us, but we do for him.
I am a mess sometimes: I see this; I hate this. I want to spend the rest of my life striving to live up to this calling. One of my big problems is that I hate failure. A lot of times I avoid doing something because I am so afraid of falling flat on my face. This fear will keep me from being called to something that God wants me to do; this is sin. My fear can only be conquered with the Lord, which is comforting in itself. Not only does he call me to do his work but he will help me and walk alongside me; what a comfort and a blessing.

Back in the habit...

Today at church our choir sang a very popular song from Sister Act II entitled, Joyful, Joyful. It's very interesting to me when we sing songs of this nature because it is a church of classical orientation in music. I did have fun however I have not sung in this way in quite a while. I have been singing classically more often than not over the last year. During my college graduation in 2007, I joked with a fellow classmate that I probably would never sing classical music again. I am so blessed to have the opportunities that I do, whether it be in church or with the Muskegon Chamber Choir. All have been great experiences and I am glad that God has given me the chance to continue with what I love doing.

I like to think that God is often chuckling about what we think we're going to do or not do. I really thought that since I would be returning home to Muskegon my opportunities would be limited in continuing with classical music. I'm so glad that I was wrong, but also kind of mad at the way I approached it; I guess I was thinking that Muskegon had little culture or something. In some ways it is very enriched in culture and I need to embrace it instead of going with my presuppositions. I am finding out often lately that I have many presuppositions that I need to re-think; this goes much beyond just our culture, but in people as well. God is constantly challenging me and helping me to re-think what I think I know is right....for this I am thankful.

I always do this.

I am so good at re-starting my blog and then not continuing with it.
I am determined to get back into the blogging world, including keeping up with friends/family blogs, but I don't get online enough.
For this reason I make no promises for keeping up with this. I will, when I remember and have time to do so, write a blog, or read yours. If I do well enough I will eventually (maybe) have readership and enjoy reading about the what God is doing in the lives of others. I know this will bless me if I can get the discipline to do so.

So much has happened in my life. July 4, 2008 changed my life, as Mark proposed to me. We are getting ready for our April 25th wedding! It is very overwhelming but so exciting. I constantly remember the wise words of those who have already wed, reminding me that the day of my wedding will be amazing but the days after are what I really need to be planning for. I hope I will make a good wife and be the helper that God created me to be. I am very traditional and believe fully what the bible has to say about marriage. I hope I am not going into this in a naive way but I truly believe that Mark is to be the head of our household. That does not make my role "inferior" by any means; Mark COULD NOT be the head of the household without a helper. He could not fulfill his role unless I am faithfully fulfilling mine.

**An aside**
Those of you who know me know that I am NOT a natural leader. My philosophy has always been that there could not be leaders without followers. Call that lazy, but it's what I believe(d). Over the past few years I have been re-thinking this philosophy. Although I am not a natural leader God still created me to lead in certain ways. This means often I have to step out of my comfort zone. Often times I just don't want to; I am uncomfortable in a leadership position. I know that God commands us to obey him and through obeying him he will truly bless us and teach us. He will be glorified if we are faithful to him and follow the path he has for us.
**End aside**

My life is not really what I thought it would be. Sometimes I feel like I have failed those who have helped raise me up. Sometimes I feel like I have failed God because somewhere along the road, I took the wrong path. I know that in our lives we go through many times where we do not feel like we are where we are supposed to be. I know that God is constantly preparing us and using our past roads to teach us about what is ahead. I believe that I am right where I am supposed to be; although in the eyes of people I may not be. God is preparing me for what's next. I know in my heart God has bigger things for me than I can even imagine, starting with marrying my best friend. I am not sure what's next but I know that through much prayer and just being still in the presence of God, I will not be lead astray.

Great is thy faithfulness...

What is a blog?
Is it something that is kept up with by sharing thoughts, ideas, or just what is on one's mind? Well, I can tell you that it is something that I have not kept up with so I do not even know if this is worthy enough to be called a blog. I have said this several times (if you scroll through and look at previous posts, posted few and far between) that I would actually like to write more in this. I am trying to become a more disciplined person, so this would be good practice for me. Even if it is just writing a sentence or two every day or so, that would be more discipline than I have shown in blogging thus far. Actually, in the past I blogged much more. You can check out my very old blogs by clicking on the links below.
http://bloomiebiscuit.easyjournal.com/
http://shaundrajonanda.livejournal.com/
Life seems to be flying by. Where did September go, and how are we already passed mid-October? It is great being home, as it is the first Michigan fall I've seen in 5 years. I can't really constitute this as an authentic Michigan fall because of how warm it has been. I feel like I have brought the Tennessee fall home with me! It has been great spending time with family, constant friends that have been in my life, and Mark. I am so blessed to have so many loving relationships in my life.

This time in my life is a very awkward time. I had lunch with Marianne and my sister yesterday, and I was telling them how I just don't fit in anywhere right now. I have no title as I once did as a high school or college student. I am not married nor do I have any children. I do not have the job that I went to school for, and thus am working at a few different places for now. I just don't fit in any catergory. I know that this happens to many college alumns. It is good for me to find my identity in other places-not in a title. I just need prayer right now. I need to be content with where I am, but not content enough to stop looking for what I want. I need to know that the things I am involved in right now are still shaping me towards the future and what God has for me. Most importantly, I must realize that even now I am doing God's work, even if it is not what I envisioned. He is faithful...I definately know that.

"For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus."
-Phil 1:5, NASB

Home.

I am now home from college after obtaining my bachelor degree and trying to find the path that God has for me. It is difficult venturing towards the unknown, but I will use this description that I keep in the files of my mind; it's like I have a blindfold on that will remain until I am ready to see what is beyond it. The clincher is this: God has my hand. No matter what is in front of me, around me, or in my past, God has been, is, and will be with me through my life. That is a very comforting feeling and realization.

Something that is difficult to believe is how the last five years of my life flew by. I started that journey with different dreams than I have now. The way my life is turning out is vastly different from what I always thought it would be. I always pictured myself as someone who would never settle down, but instead would travel and perform. I did not think that I would end up in West Michigan or anywhere really. I did not see myself as conventional or traditional but rather someone who was always looking for something new.

Now I dream of the conventional life, settling down, getting married, having children (eventually), and living close to the ones that I love and who have seen me through everything. Some people can live their lives in such a way where they never make roots. I want the roots that I have to grow. I guess in these last five years I have grown up some. I am the same person seeing life through eyes with much more life experience. I have been through much more, been given more responsibilities, learned how to budget better (thanks Mark), learned better time management, learned how to better prioritize, and more. I love making lists and checking things off of them; I actually get joy out of this. The big check that I cannot cross of my list is my finding a job in my field of study. This may remain on my list for a while, which I know is common. The inner part of me feels like I have failed myself, but at the same time, I know that I cannot rush where God wants me to be, especially if I or the place is not ready yet.

This is the prayer that I have for my life each day:
My purpose is to glorify God by drawing nearer to him each day, seeking out his will, having faith in the unknown, and trusting his plan for my life- even when times are difficult.
The truth is that God is the only one that will never let me down because his will is perfect. If I trust in him, I can say that I am putting my trust in everything.

God has given me so much to be thankful for; so in him, I give thanks.

Our fallenness...

One way for me to blog more often is to copy what I am writing in class. I am taking a Johannine Literature class, and I love it! I have to write papers for mostly every class on my reading, and from time to time will post them on here. It has only been a week and a half since I started this class, but it has been such an encouragement to me already, and it is helping me to re-evaluate my own life; it is showing me where I am not putting God first in my life. What I wrote below is taken from 1 John 2:3-27.

"This is how we know we are in Him!"
1 John 2:3-27 is a passage which includes much encouragement to those who are believers of God, but is also one that includes a warning about those who are "antichrists." John drives the point home that we know God by keeping his commands. He elaborates on this much, and really wants the audience to understand this. Because we believe in God, we are changed; on the inside and outside. If there is no change in our lives, we were probably never believers in the first place. This is very important; we often fall and mess up in our lives, but when we do it over and over again, our motives are questioned. This is accented in verse 4, in which those who constantly are disobedient are called liars, and the truth is not in them. John is reminded the children of God of this, and how we are to constantly re-evaluate ourselves; making sure that we are living in God. When we keep God's commands, His love is completed in us!
One of the things that really struck me about this passage is how much our lives should be changed when God enters in. John is writing to a group of people who, as he encourages in verse 21, know the truth. He wanted them to be aware of themselves, but he was more concerned with them being aware of those who have gone out and denounced God. These are the people who walked in the same circles as them, but they did not really know God, the truth, or His fellowship. John was encouraging them for their persistence and standing firm in their faith, and he wanted them to continue with this. If they know the truth, why did he drive this point home so far? He did this because people are born with a sinful nature and can become tempted and fall very easily. He wanted those who knew the truth to continue living for God, and to be constantly aware of the change that has occurred in their lives. He did not want them to be content, but always seeking God and trying to become more like Him. Once we become content with ourselves, and think we are good enough, that is when it is easiest to fall.

"Any love that we have in God must find its origin in Him" -Daniel Akin

Question: Do we make the connection with the fact that loving God is not just a feeling or a spiritual thing; it is demonstrated by our actions? Have we forgotten that God demonstrated his love for us by sending His only son to become sin for us? I really think that is what John was trying to emphasize this as well. We want to know God, abide in God, and have fellowship with Him. We cannot even experience the fellowship and love of God without knowing Christ first! Believing in Christ is not just something we do on Sundays; it is loving God by keeping his commands daily. Love is an action word. Loving God is a testimony; if we are not following His commands daily, we are not showing Him our love, and thus, we were probably never believers in the first place.

Making a post so they don't cancel my account due to lack of use...

Well, I have not posted on here in some time, so I will update you all (if there's anyone left) on a few things.

The thing that lays on my mind constantly is the fact that my senior voice recital is in 24 days. It is coming up very quickly, and I am really excited and nervous about it. My family and Mark are all coming down, and they will finally see where I've been hiding all of these years. My hearing for my recital (where I sing in front of all of the music profs. to make sure that I'm ready) is a week from Thursday, and I have 3 new songs to learn and memorize before then. They are pretty easy, so it won't be too bad.

Today is 1 year since Mark and I started dating. It is interesting to me that before we dated, I couldn't imagine being in a relationship for a month, let alone a year. I have grown so much since dating him, learned a lot about myself (strengths and weaknesses), and God has shown me how blessed I really am. This happiness can only come from God and I really don't deserve it, but I am thankful.

I am getting ready to graduate this year! I have a lot to accomplish this year. I am taking 17 hours both semesters, testing out of 4 classes, and I keep busy with being an RA and working at Red Lobster. Being a music major also takes a lot of my time, but I know that I can get everything done, because God has given me so much strength so far. I know He will be with me as I continue forth and finish up. Then...who knows...

Speaking of being an RA, I absolutely love it! This is my first year (and last) doing this. I have 30 freshman, 12 upperclassmen, and 2 transfers in my building. I hope to become close to these girls and make it a ministry opportunity. God has grown me through this already, having to deal with things that I'm not very comfortable with, but it is good for me to get out of my comfort zone.

Well, that's it for now. Holla.

THUMBS UP THURSDAY!!!

Well, This is my first week doing "Thumbs Up Thursday." I'm pretty confident in the picture that I found. Let me know what you think!

Prayer

There is a girl who is a music major at my school, who is in all of the same choirs with me, who has suffered from vocal nodes since last semester. Because of this, she has not been able to sing this entire school year. She has been going to Vanderbildt for speech therapy, in hopes that they can help her, and that she can eventually fully recover and be able to sing again. Through countless visits, training, and no improvement, she was told that it is best for her not to even try to sing for a long time. Today, she got up in front of choir, and told us that she was dropping from all of the choirs. She tried not to cry, but the tears came anyway. Anyone could see how much she loved singing, and how much this hurt for her to do.

I think about how awful this is for her. This is something that she has done her entire life, and now she just has to quit. I think about this, and it really hits close to home for me. This is the very effect that could have happened to me last year, after my two surgeries. I think about the times soon after them that I tried to sing, and absolutely nothing would come out. I think about the times that I would sit at the piano and cry, because I could not sing along with the song I was playing. I think about how singing is the way that I worship God best, and that could have been taken away from me. I knew that my health came first, and the cancer had to be removed from me, but soon after, I felt a twinge of regret within me. I regretted finding the lump in my neck, I regretted getting it checked out, I regretted going back to the doctor right before I went back to school last spring, which is the reason we found out. I had just wished it all away, even though I knew something was wrong, I was not feeling well at all, and I could not just leave this alone. I regretted all of this because my 2nd love was gone....singing. Think about if I would have just left it alone. I would have been off a lot worse, and I probably wouldn't have had surgery...instead, lots of doses of chemotherapy from it spreading everywhere.

I realize that this is the path that God gave me. This testimony that I have now is incredible. Not only am I cancer-free, but I have rebuilt my voice pretty much back to where it was, besides the endurance. It is so much more to me now. It is a gift that I can still worship God in this way; it is a gift that I need to share with others, and it is something that I am called to do. I don't know how I'm going to be used, but I just want to do God's work...whatever that may be.

I think about this poor girl though....and where she is right now, and the fact that I can relate with her. I feel like it's not fair that I am able to sing and she is not. I feel like I can't even rejoice in the fact that I can. It's almost a hindrance to me. If you think about her, please pray for her. Her life is Job 1:21 right now: "The Lord gives and the Lord takes away; may the name of the Lord be praised."
That is such a difficult thing to do in trials.

It's my blog, I can vent if I want to...

A Vent:

28 Recitals this semester that I must attend. 28. Usually it's 19-20, but 28? I know that most music majors would be excited for the chance to go to this many, but I'm not a real one!!** I want to be able to work, spend time with my friends, and have time for homework for crying out loud! If that's not enough, my voice teacher scheduled studio classes for those in his voice studio that we must attend on Some Monday nights. No other voice teacher does this, and now, I have to give up Monday nights of work, because I am *supposedly* supposed to live and breathe music, and that's *supposed* to take over my full concentration. I am in 3 choirs, and we travel often to perform. I already knew that, but I didn't know that all this was going to be required of me this semester. Oh well...
"That's life, that's what all the people say..."-Frank Sinatra.

**Disclaimer**
The reason I say that I'm not a "real" music major, is because I am not a primarily classical music person. I do love it, but when I get out of college, I will probably never sing classical music again. I don't get music jokes, and I don't think they're funny. Therefore, I'm not a "real" music major.

You Alone

You are the only one I need
I bow all of me at your feet
I worship you alone

You have given me more
than I could ever have wanted
And I want to give you my heart and my soul

You alone are father
You alone are good
You alone are Savior
You alone are God

We sang this song at church this past Sunday. While we were singing it, I couldn't help but think about how this outlines the sovereignty of God.

He alone is our father-we need him, and he takes care of us.
He alone is good-there is no good without him..we are not "good people"
He alone is our Savior-because of His sacrifice, we have life
He alone is God-the one whom we are not worthy of, but the one who deserves our praise, our lives, and so much more.

Because of all this, He is the only one we need. We should be bowing down our lives at His feet, not just part of our lives, but the whole. He does not have to be our father, or our Savior, he does not have to be good to us and offer us a life with him. He has given us so much more than we deserve, and because of this, no other should be above Him; therefore, we worship Him alone.

The hard part is giving him my heart and soul---wholly. There are things in my life that are hard to give up sometimes, and in the back of my mind, I know I should, but it requires a lot of me. It is growing closer to God, and knowing that He will fulfill that part of my life with Him, in replacement of what was there. That is the sovereignty of God---giving my life to Him, because he is supreem and worthy of it, and deserves nothing less.

A long, needed update

Ok, so as you have all observed (if there are any of you left out there), I have not updated in such a long time, and my consistancy has been TERRIBLE. Hopefully I still have those of you out there who at least check to see if I've updated...well, here you go!

Things have been going really well here. I have been thinking about this semester lately, and this is kind of humorous. I have never wanted a semester to start more than this one, and I have never wanted a semester to end more than this one. I wanted it to start so badly because I missed it so much when I was out this past spring. I was ready to get back in the swing of things, get back on track to *eventually* graduate, see my friends, become more educated...I was longing for that. It's so weird what one semester away can do. I missed so much last semester. When people talk about things that happen, the inside jokes, all that--they assume I know about them, then they slowly realize that I wasn't here. Then I make some joke about how I couldn't be here because I had cancer...GOSH!! Obviously, I had no choice in the matter of being at school, but there's so much I missed, and sometimes I feel segregated because of the times, experiences, laughs...that I missed. With all that, I was ready to get back, to see my friends..and I'm so glad that I did.

NOW....I am ready for this semester to be OVER!!! Don't get me wrong-I love being here, living amongst college students, having that FREEDOM of coming and going whenever, not having to check in, knowing that the choices that I make will be good even though I may be out late...It's nice. But, this is the HARDEST semester that I have ever had. My workload is much. I live in the library, the Christian studies department, and the music department. I have enjoyed getting into my Christian studies courses, because I have learned so many valuable and applicable things in them. I need rest though. I need time away, to get on track. I started the semester trying to stay ahead, and now I cannot get caught up, it seems. When I came back after Thanksgiving break, I felt very rested. I walked into a voice lesson without warming up (which is bad...I usually need AT LEAST a 15 minute warm-up, especially since my surgeries) and my voice responded instantly. I didn't sing at all while I was home. I gave my voice a break, and it was very worthwhile. Sometimes when we step away from things and come back into them later, we do better than if we were to constantly be at it, practicing, reviewing...what have you. Plus, I have to sing a lot in the next two weeks, so any rest I can give my voice is good.

I cannot believe that next week is the last week of classes. Although I have been wanting this semester to be over, it has flown by. Where in the world did November go? I often say that I love school, except for classes get in the way of enjoying it. That is why the first couple weeks of the semester are my favorite, because there is not much going on, and I can enjoy the company of my friends without being stressed. I love it.

Well..hopefully there's more to come. I will update amid the madness.

Meet the guy in my life...

For those of you who don't know...this is my boyfriend, Mark. This picture was actually taken 2 years ago. We were both in the wedding party, so he was my escort as we walked down the isle for Shane and Jessica's wedding. I know this isn't the best picture...our faces look pretty funny, but it's all I have for now. He is in Michigan while I'm below the mason-dixon line. He is simply amazing. It's so cool for me to think that I've known him for 8 years, and we have been friends all this time, and NOW, we are dating. I am so happy that he is in my life in this new way.

What in the world...

I have seen a lot of the Darwin icthus' lately, and frankly, it makes me sick. Not only are those who display this their cars making fun of those that are Christians, but they are also taking a symbol that is sacred and making a mockery of it.

The icthus happened back in early Christianity when it was dangerous to display faith. People drew the outline of this fish to symbolize that they were Christians, so they could quitely display their faith, and see those who also wore their faith.

I understand that people are going to believe what they want. Why do they have to make fun of what we believe? What I don't understand, is why they believe something that is so hard to believe. They think that our faith has questions...they have so many more questions in what they believe, and the more they research, the more they have to back up and change what they originally thought.

Aquinas wrote in his Summa Theologiae about "The Five Proofs of God". His first proof states that since some things move, there must be a cause to which they move other than itself. This could be one of two things: Either there is a chain that infinitely regresses, or there is an unmoved mover, one that moves everything. Since an infinite chain that goes back and back is impossible, it must be there is an original mover, and that is God.

His second proof is almost the same, except that he talks about cause. Everything is caused and there must be something uncaused that is causing them, therefore, God.

The third proof states that there are things that are contingent; they come into being and then they pass away. These things are logically contingent and not necessary. There must be something that is logically necessary and that is God.

His fourth proof talks about the different degrees of perfection found in the world. If things are thought of as more or less good, there must be a source that is the definition of perfect goodness, and this is God. How can we say some things have more good than another, if there isn't an ultimate good?

The fifth and final proof is the argument from design, often called the teological argument (from the greek telos, meaning end or goal). The universe is designed with us in mind (anthropic principle). If the earth were a little farther, we'd freeze. If the earth were a little closer, we'd die of heat. Everything is in the perfect place suitable for us to live in. This argument also goes on to say that everything works together for an ending or goal. How can things act in such awareness if they aren't drected by an intelligent being, this being God?

I love to talk about the different proofs for the existence of God. It just makes sense to me...there is a God, who created us, who still exists, who offers eternal life to us, and those who do not take this path...well, you know the answer to that.
I love getting off on tangents...

I HAVE A PLAN!!

For the first time since I have decided not to be an education minor, I have devised a plan, which may get me to have a job other than being a waitress forever. This has been on my mind for quite some time, but it has always seemed out of reach and something that I wouldn't be good at. Ok, now I know you're dying to know what it is.

I have decided to graduate from Union with a Bachelor of Music (vocal), with an emphasis in Christian Studies. You might ask, isn't this what you're already doing? Yes, but there's more. After I graduate, I will come home, and go to GVSU or something like that, and pick up a minor in Psychology, and then off to grad school to get my masters in MUSIC THERAPY!!! Now, I realize another question might spring from this. Why do I want to keep the Christian Studies emphasis? Wouldn't it just be easier to get my minor here in psychology and then head straight to grad school? Yes, that would be easier, but I feel led to keep this emphasis, and I have no idea why. I know that I will use it somewhere down the road, but for now, I'm just walking by faith. PLUS, do you want me to stay down here forever??? Psychology minors are really easy time-wise to obtain, so it won't take me long, and that will be more time for me in Skeetown!

I have felt a tug at my heart everytime I see or hear about Music Therapy. I think that this is something that I have been equipped to do. It deals with helping people, and there are many different approaches to it. I am really excited that I have made the decisions necessary for the next part of my life.

Maya he, maya who, maya ha, maya ha ha..

These are some of the members of our hurricane relief trip. We were dancing at a gas station to THE song of the trip; at least our van's song of the trip (we took 3 vans..and I was the DJ for ours, so I got shotgun the entire way!). The song is called "Maya He" or something like that, by some group in Russia. Anyway, I will update you about my trip in a more serious way sometime time this week.

In the Gulf...

I meant to write about this before I left for the rest of the week, but it has been crazy these last few days.

Yesterday, I traveled to Mobile, Alabama for the weekend to help out with hurricane relief. It is my fall break at school, and this trip was offered through Union. I had other plans, but they ended up falling through, and then this trip came about. I prayed a lot about it, and I really felt God's call for me to go.
Since conditions are bad where we are working, we are staying in Mobile, at University of Mobile, which is one of Union University's sister schools. Each day, we are traveling to the different cities to help where conditions are the worst.

There are 20 of us on this trip, and we drove straight yesterday after classes to Mobile. This morning, we went to help out the Volunteers of America. We put together care packages, in which evacuees will come on Saturday to pick up. Even though the behind-the-scenes work needs to be done, I was really ready to get out there and do some hard work. Later today, during the hottest hours, some of us did some roofing...well, we tore off the roof anyway. It was difficult, but I really loved doing it. I think I've found my new calling....lol.

Anyway, I am asking you all to pray for me during the course of this weekend. It's a strenuous trip. It's hard seeing all of these things, and know that I can only help a little. It's hard knowing how much people have suffered from this, and I want to help as much as possible. This takes energy, in which I have absolutely none. Pray that I can have the energy to help with the physical labor, as well as seeking out opportunities when coming in contact with evacuees to tell them about Christ. Thanks...I might not get the chance to update again until I get back, so I will make a big post about it.

Compliments of my sister's roommate.

This is my new hair..I haven't had bangs since I was 6!! I called my sis's roommate Jill last Sunday, very spontaneously, and asked her to cut them. It's definately different but I really like them.