Monday, September 18, 2006

Making a post so they don't cancel my account due to lack of use...

Well, I have not posted on here in some time, so I will update you all (if there's anyone left) on a few things.

The thing that lays on my mind constantly is the fact that my senior voice recital is in 24 days. It is coming up very quickly, and I am really excited and nervous about it. My family and Mark are all coming down, and they will finally see where I've been hiding all of these years. My hearing for my recital (where I sing in front of all of the music profs. to make sure that I'm ready) is a week from Thursday, and I have 3 new songs to learn and memorize before then. They are pretty easy, so it won't be too bad.

Today is 1 year since Mark and I started dating. It is interesting to me that before we dated, I couldn't imagine being in a relationship for a month, let alone a year. I have grown so much since dating him, learned a lot about myself (strengths and weaknesses), and God has shown me how blessed I really am. This happiness can only come from God and I really don't deserve it, but I am thankful.

I am getting ready to graduate this year! I have a lot to accomplish this year. I am taking 17 hours both semesters, testing out of 4 classes, and I keep busy with being an RA and working at Red Lobster. Being a music major also takes a lot of my time, but I know that I can get everything done, because God has given me so much strength so far. I know He will be with me as I continue forth and finish up. Then...who knows...

Speaking of being an RA, I absolutely love it! This is my first year (and last) doing this. I have 30 freshman, 12 upperclassmen, and 2 transfers in my building. I hope to become close to these girls and make it a ministry opportunity. God has grown me through this already, having to deal with things that I'm not very comfortable with, but it is good for me to get out of my comfort zone.

Well, that's it for now. Holla.

Thursday, April 27, 2006


Well, This is my first week doing "Thumbs Up Thursday." I'm pretty confident in the picture that I found. Let me know what you think!

Monday, February 27, 2006


There is a girl who is a music major at my school, who is in all of the same choirs with me, who has suffered from vocal nodes since last semester. Because of this, she has not been able to sing this entire school year. She has been going to Vanderbildt for speech therapy, in hopes that they can help her, and that she can eventually fully recover and be able to sing again. Through countless visits, training, and no improvement, she was told that it is best for her not to even try to sing for a long time. Today, she got up in front of choir, and told us that she was dropping from all of the choirs. She tried not to cry, but the tears came anyway. Anyone could see how much she loved singing, and how much this hurt for her to do.

I think about how awful this is for her. This is something that she has done her entire life, and now she just has to quit. I think about this, and it really hits close to home for me. This is the very effect that could have happened to me last year, after my two surgeries. I think about the times soon after them that I tried to sing, and absolutely nothing would come out. I think about the times that I would sit at the piano and cry, because I could not sing along with the song I was playing. I think about how singing is the way that I worship God best, and that could have been taken away from me. I knew that my health came first, and the cancer had to be removed from me, but soon after, I felt a twinge of regret within me. I regretted finding the lump in my neck, I regretted getting it checked out, I regretted going back to the doctor right before I went back to school last spring, which is the reason we found out. I had just wished it all away, even though I knew something was wrong, I was not feeling well at all, and I could not just leave this alone. I regretted all of this because my 2nd love was gone....singing. Think about if I would have just left it alone. I would have been off a lot worse, and I probably wouldn't have had surgery...instead, lots of doses of chemotherapy from it spreading everywhere.

I realize that this is the path that God gave me. This testimony that I have now is incredible. Not only am I cancer-free, but I have rebuilt my voice pretty much back to where it was, besides the endurance. It is so much more to me now. It is a gift that I can still worship God in this way; it is a gift that I need to share with others, and it is something that I am called to do. I don't know how I'm going to be used, but I just want to do God's work...whatever that may be.

I think about this poor girl though....and where she is right now, and the fact that I can relate with her. I feel like it's not fair that I am able to sing and she is not. I feel like I can't even rejoice in the fact that I can. It's almost a hindrance to me. If you think about her, please pray for her. Her life is Job 1:21 right now: "The Lord gives and the Lord takes away; may the name of the Lord be praised."
That is such a difficult thing to do in trials.

Sunday, February 12, 2006

It's my blog, I can vent if I want to...

A Vent:

28 Recitals this semester that I must attend. 28. Usually it's 19-20, but 28? I know that most music majors would be excited for the chance to go to this many, but I'm not a real one!!** I want to be able to work, spend time with my friends, and have time for homework for crying out loud! If that's not enough, my voice teacher scheduled studio classes for those in his voice studio that we must attend on Some Monday nights. No other voice teacher does this, and now, I have to give up Monday nights of work, because I am *supposedly* supposed to live and breathe music, and that's *supposed* to take over my full concentration. I am in 3 choirs, and we travel often to perform. I already knew that, but I didn't know that all this was going to be required of me this semester. Oh well...
"That's life, that's what all the people say..."-Frank Sinatra.

The reason I say that I'm not a "real" music major, is because I am not a primarily classical music person. I do love it, but when I get out of college, I will probably never sing classical music again. I don't get music jokes, and I don't think they're funny. Therefore, I'm not a "real" music major.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

You Alone

You are the only one I need
I bow all of me at your feet
I worship you alone

You have given me more
than I could ever have wanted
And I want to give you my heart and my soul

You alone are father
You alone are good
You alone are Savior
You alone are God

We sang this song at church this past Sunday. While we were singing it, I couldn't help but think about how this outlines the sovereignty of God.

He alone is our father-we need him, and he takes care of us.
He alone is good-there is no good without him..we are not "good people"
He alone is our Savior-because of His sacrifice, we have life
He alone is God-the one whom we are not worthy of, but the one who deserves our praise, our lives, and so much more.

Because of all this, He is the only one we need. We should be bowing down our lives at His feet, not just part of our lives, but the whole. He does not have to be our father, or our Savior, he does not have to be good to us and offer us a life with him. He has given us so much more than we deserve, and because of this, no other should be above Him; therefore, we worship Him alone.

The hard part is giving him my heart and soul---wholly. There are things in my life that are hard to give up sometimes, and in the back of my mind, I know I should, but it requires a lot of me. It is growing closer to God, and knowing that He will fulfill that part of my life with Him, in replacement of what was there. That is the sovereignty of God---giving my life to Him, because he is supreem and worthy of it, and deserves nothing less.