I think A LOT. It's just getting out on paper or on a blog that seems to be the problem. One particular way in which my thoughts are transpired is through running. Running has become something that I absolutely love to do. Usually I run the best when I have a problem I am facing and sometimes I can even come up with a solution to it. Most times this is a prayerful time for me to just be alone with God and my thoughts.
It's really neat living in Spring Lake, MI. They have wonderful bike/running paths so that all may be able to keep an active lifestyle. There are several types of people that run or bike:
-Those who are just starting out and need plenty of encouragement.
-Those who have been at it for a while and are in the middle of the pack.
-Those who are quite advanced in their activity and have a more competitive edge.
Out of these 3 categories I fall in the middle of the pack. One of my favorite things about running/biking is that you can receive verbal or unverbal encouragement from those pass by. I love getting "the knod" from those who are also in the middle of their physical activity. To me that means, "keep it up, you're doing great." Some people will actually speak these words as I'm passing by which is very helpful too. In fact, I was running recently when one of my high school teachers passed by on his bike. Maybe he could tell I was struggling, maybe not. He didn't even know it was me but he still shouted words of affirmation as he passed me by. That really meant something to me and it DID help me to keep going.
I think there is something more here beyond just physical activity. In our Christian walk we are all in vastly different places:
-Some have been Christians for years and are growing more and more each day.
-Others may have also been Christians for years but might have had a time of struggle in which they turned away from God for a period of time.
-Others may be just starting out and are excited about the new life they are starting.
-There are those who are "newer" to Christianity but are growing and growing as well.
We are not all on the same level. We all learn differently and grow differently too. This life is not easy and it was not intended to be that way.
Something that is wonderful is when I receive encouragement from others. They may know what I am dealing with and want to give me a helpful push in the right direction. Even though we may be in a different place in our walks with the Lord the encouragement is still helpful and needed. Just like when I am running--I'll take encouragement from anyone. It definitely helps me to attain my goal and gives me a sense of what I am doing and the importance of not giving up, no matter the difficulty of the task.
"I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me- the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace"
Acts 20:24, NIV
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Sunday, February 28, 2010
My prayer today
Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you another day to live and be in your presence, for this among the other countless blessings you have given me I do not deserve.
I want to take this time to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the times this week that I did not live up to your calling. I know I mess up often but it is such a comfort to know you are there to pick me up.
Lord this is such a humiliating thing for me to admit but you already know that I am guilty of this. At times I can find myself apathetic about one thing or another and I am not sure why. Maybe I'm not seeking after you enough or maybe I'm not listening. Lord, please forgive me for I know this is a deadly sin with horrific consequences. How can I find myself in this state at times when I have the greatest gift in my life?
Forgive me Lord when my heart does not break for those in need around me. You have called me to give of myself, even when it hurts. When I know there is a need that I can meet and I fail to do so, I am ignoring what is in front of me. I am selfish and wrong; I am sorry. You put people in my life who are thinking of those around them constantly. I am so thankful to you for this gift as they are a constant reminder and example to me. There are needs globally and locally as well. Help me to know where I can be effective. Let me listen to where you want me to go and be used; let me have a willing heart for you, oh God.
My heart should completely break at the thought of your crucifixion. When it does not Lord, forgive me. You gave your life so that I can live which is the greatest sacrifice. How can I not completely break every time? When we have Communion in church my tears fall easily and I am in repentance. Lord, may my tears fall not only during this time but from postlude to prelude as well.
Lord, when I am not kind to others, bring it to my attention. When I am only seeking those who are lovable, help me to seek out those who are more difficult to love. Help me to tame my tongue when it is easier to gossip and be a part of the crowd. Lord, help me to ultimately love as you called me to love, which is at the base of most of this prayer. I cannot live my life without you, nor would I want to attempt to.
Thank you for your sacrifice and for choosing to love me. Thank you for helping me up each and every time I fall. I know I will fall again but your saving love will lift me up. Thank you for your consistency and for being the same; yesterday, today and forever. I love you Lord.
Thank you another day to live and be in your presence, for this among the other countless blessings you have given me I do not deserve.
I want to take this time to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the times this week that I did not live up to your calling. I know I mess up often but it is such a comfort to know you are there to pick me up.
Lord this is such a humiliating thing for me to admit but you already know that I am guilty of this. At times I can find myself apathetic about one thing or another and I am not sure why. Maybe I'm not seeking after you enough or maybe I'm not listening. Lord, please forgive me for I know this is a deadly sin with horrific consequences. How can I find myself in this state at times when I have the greatest gift in my life?
Forgive me Lord when my heart does not break for those in need around me. You have called me to give of myself, even when it hurts. When I know there is a need that I can meet and I fail to do so, I am ignoring what is in front of me. I am selfish and wrong; I am sorry. You put people in my life who are thinking of those around them constantly. I am so thankful to you for this gift as they are a constant reminder and example to me. There are needs globally and locally as well. Help me to know where I can be effective. Let me listen to where you want me to go and be used; let me have a willing heart for you, oh God.
My heart should completely break at the thought of your crucifixion. When it does not Lord, forgive me. You gave your life so that I can live which is the greatest sacrifice. How can I not completely break every time? When we have Communion in church my tears fall easily and I am in repentance. Lord, may my tears fall not only during this time but from postlude to prelude as well.
Lord, when I am not kind to others, bring it to my attention. When I am only seeking those who are lovable, help me to seek out those who are more difficult to love. Help me to tame my tongue when it is easier to gossip and be a part of the crowd. Lord, help me to ultimately love as you called me to love, which is at the base of most of this prayer. I cannot live my life without you, nor would I want to attempt to.
Thank you for your sacrifice and for choosing to love me. Thank you for helping me up each and every time I fall. I know I will fall again but your saving love will lift me up. Thank you for your consistency and for being the same; yesterday, today and forever. I love you Lord.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
In the quiet, in the stillness I know that you are God...
In the quiet morning I enjoyed today I was reading the book of 1 Thessalonians. Some of the words and concepts are so simple to me but are strong in the meaning of what the church exists to be and what fellow believers are to one another. It is definitely helpful to know that there are those among me who help me to strive to live a more Godly life. It is wonderful when others who are close to me can walk along side me, encouraging me but also praying for me in the things that I struggle with. These are some of the highlights from my reading this morning:
"You became imitators of us and of the Lord; in spite of severe suffering, you welcomed the message with the joy given by the Holy Spirit." (1Thess. 1:6)
---I have experienced some suffering in my life, but none compared to those who are daily persecuted or even those around me who have terrible suffering. I am encouraged by my peers who are faithful to our God through these tough times.
"We were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children. We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us." (1Thess. 2:7-8)
---I love this passage. This book references both being like a gentle mother and a father who is urging them to do what is right. That is exactly how young children grow into adults and how baby Christians grow in the Lord.
"For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory."
(1 Thess. 2:11-12)
---Not only uring them but ENCOURAGING as well.
"Therefore, brothers, in all our distress and persecution we were encouraged about you because of your faith. For now we really live, since you are standing firm in the Lord. How can we thank God enough for you in return for all the joy we have in the presence of our God because of you?"
(1Thess. 3:7-9)
---I am definitely influenced by my surroundings, which can be both good and bad. It is something that I constantly have to be aware of; another reason why it is important to surround myself with people that are seeking after the Lord.
"May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it." (1 Thess. 5:23-24)
---I love the encouragement in this passage. It is extremely difficult to be a Christian: but the one who calls us to do so is FAITHFUL.
"And so you became a model to all the believers in Macedonia and Achaia. The Lord's message rang out from you not only in Macedonia and Achaia—your faith in God has become known everywhere."
(1 Thess 1:7-8)
---This was my favorite part. Not only did others around them recognize their faith but it even stretched further. The ones who saw their faith told others and so on.
Am I living in such a way that others see my faith daily? What do I need to change? I can never become complacent with where I am. I love the fact that our God is constant--his love is consistent and NEVER-CHANGING. He doesn't have to change for us, but we do for him.
I am a mess sometimes: I see this; I hate this. I want to spend the rest of my life striving to live up to this calling. One of my big problems is that I hate failure. A lot of times I avoid doing something because I am so afraid of falling flat on my face. This fear will keep me from being called to something that God wants me to do; this is sin. My fear can only be conquered with the Lord, which is comforting in itself. Not only does he call me to do his work but he will help me and walk alongside me; what a comfort and a blessing.
"You became imitators of us and of the Lord; in spite of severe suffering, you welcomed the message with the joy given by the Holy Spirit." (1Thess. 1:6)
---I have experienced some suffering in my life, but none compared to those who are daily persecuted or even those around me who have terrible suffering. I am encouraged by my peers who are faithful to our God through these tough times.
"We were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children. We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us." (1Thess. 2:7-8)
---I love this passage. This book references both being like a gentle mother and a father who is urging them to do what is right. That is exactly how young children grow into adults and how baby Christians grow in the Lord.
"For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory."
(1 Thess. 2:11-12)
---Not only uring them but ENCOURAGING as well.
"Therefore, brothers, in all our distress and persecution we were encouraged about you because of your faith. For now we really live, since you are standing firm in the Lord. How can we thank God enough for you in return for all the joy we have in the presence of our God because of you?"
(1Thess. 3:7-9)
---I am definitely influenced by my surroundings, which can be both good and bad. It is something that I constantly have to be aware of; another reason why it is important to surround myself with people that are seeking after the Lord.
"May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it." (1 Thess. 5:23-24)
---I love the encouragement in this passage. It is extremely difficult to be a Christian: but the one who calls us to do so is FAITHFUL.
"And so you became a model to all the believers in Macedonia and Achaia. The Lord's message rang out from you not only in Macedonia and Achaia—your faith in God has become known everywhere."
(1 Thess 1:7-8)
---This was my favorite part. Not only did others around them recognize their faith but it even stretched further. The ones who saw their faith told others and so on.
Am I living in such a way that others see my faith daily? What do I need to change? I can never become complacent with where I am. I love the fact that our God is constant--his love is consistent and NEVER-CHANGING. He doesn't have to change for us, but we do for him.
I am a mess sometimes: I see this; I hate this. I want to spend the rest of my life striving to live up to this calling. One of my big problems is that I hate failure. A lot of times I avoid doing something because I am so afraid of falling flat on my face. This fear will keep me from being called to something that God wants me to do; this is sin. My fear can only be conquered with the Lord, which is comforting in itself. Not only does he call me to do his work but he will help me and walk alongside me; what a comfort and a blessing.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Back in the habit...
Today at church our choir sang a very popular song from Sister Act II entitled, Joyful, Joyful. It's very interesting to me when we sing songs of this nature because it is a church of classical orientation in music. I did have fun however I have not sung in this way in quite a while. I have been singing classically more often than not over the last year. During my college graduation in 2007, I joked with a fellow classmate that I probably would never sing classical music again. I am so blessed to have the opportunities that I do, whether it be in church or with the Muskegon Chamber Choir. All have been great experiences and I am glad that God has given me the chance to continue with what I love doing.
I like to think that God is often chuckling about what we think we're going to do or not do. I really thought that since I would be returning home to Muskegon my opportunities would be limited in continuing with classical music. I'm so glad that I was wrong, but also kind of mad at the way I approached it; I guess I was thinking that Muskegon had little culture or something. In some ways it is very enriched in culture and I need to embrace it instead of going with my presuppositions. I am finding out often lately that I have many presuppositions that I need to re-think; this goes much beyond just our culture, but in people as well. God is constantly challenging me and helping me to re-think what I think I know is right....for this I am thankful.
I like to think that God is often chuckling about what we think we're going to do or not do. I really thought that since I would be returning home to Muskegon my opportunities would be limited in continuing with classical music. I'm so glad that I was wrong, but also kind of mad at the way I approached it; I guess I was thinking that Muskegon had little culture or something. In some ways it is very enriched in culture and I need to embrace it instead of going with my presuppositions. I am finding out often lately that I have many presuppositions that I need to re-think; this goes much beyond just our culture, but in people as well. God is constantly challenging me and helping me to re-think what I think I know is right....for this I am thankful.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
I always do this.
I am so good at re-starting my blog and then not continuing with it.
I am determined to get back into the blogging world, including keeping up with friends/family blogs, but I don't get online enough.
For this reason I make no promises for keeping up with this. I will, when I remember and have time to do so, write a blog, or read yours. If I do well enough I will eventually (maybe) have readership and enjoy reading about the what God is doing in the lives of others. I know this will bless me if I can get the discipline to do so.
So much has happened in my life. July 4, 2008 changed my life, as Mark proposed to me. We are getting ready for our April 25th wedding! It is very overwhelming but so exciting. I constantly remember the wise words of those who have already wed, reminding me that the day of my wedding will be amazing but the days after are what I really need to be planning for. I hope I will make a good wife and be the helper that God created me to be. I am very traditional and believe fully what the bible has to say about marriage. I hope I am not going into this in a naive way but I truly believe that Mark is to be the head of our household. That does not make my role "inferior" by any means; Mark COULD NOT be the head of the household without a helper. He could not fulfill his role unless I am faithfully fulfilling mine.
**An aside**
Those of you who know me know that I am NOT a natural leader. My philosophy has always been that there could not be leaders without followers. Call that lazy, but it's what I believe(d). Over the past few years I have been re-thinking this philosophy. Although I am not a natural leader God still created me to lead in certain ways. This means often I have to step out of my comfort zone. Often times I just don't want to; I am uncomfortable in a leadership position. I know that God commands us to obey him and through obeying him he will truly bless us and teach us. He will be glorified if we are faithful to him and follow the path he has for us.
**End aside**
My life is not really what I thought it would be. Sometimes I feel like I have failed those who have helped raise me up. Sometimes I feel like I have failed God because somewhere along the road, I took the wrong path. I know that in our lives we go through many times where we do not feel like we are where we are supposed to be. I know that God is constantly preparing us and using our past roads to teach us about what is ahead. I believe that I am right where I am supposed to be; although in the eyes of people I may not be. God is preparing me for what's next. I know in my heart God has bigger things for me than I can even imagine, starting with marrying my best friend. I am not sure what's next but I know that through much prayer and just being still in the presence of God, I will not be lead astray.
I am determined to get back into the blogging world, including keeping up with friends/family blogs, but I don't get online enough.
For this reason I make no promises for keeping up with this. I will, when I remember and have time to do so, write a blog, or read yours. If I do well enough I will eventually (maybe) have readership and enjoy reading about the what God is doing in the lives of others. I know this will bless me if I can get the discipline to do so.
So much has happened in my life. July 4, 2008 changed my life, as Mark proposed to me. We are getting ready for our April 25th wedding! It is very overwhelming but so exciting. I constantly remember the wise words of those who have already wed, reminding me that the day of my wedding will be amazing but the days after are what I really need to be planning for. I hope I will make a good wife and be the helper that God created me to be. I am very traditional and believe fully what the bible has to say about marriage. I hope I am not going into this in a naive way but I truly believe that Mark is to be the head of our household. That does not make my role "inferior" by any means; Mark COULD NOT be the head of the household without a helper. He could not fulfill his role unless I am faithfully fulfilling mine.
**An aside**
Those of you who know me know that I am NOT a natural leader. My philosophy has always been that there could not be leaders without followers. Call that lazy, but it's what I believe(d). Over the past few years I have been re-thinking this philosophy. Although I am not a natural leader God still created me to lead in certain ways. This means often I have to step out of my comfort zone. Often times I just don't want to; I am uncomfortable in a leadership position. I know that God commands us to obey him and through obeying him he will truly bless us and teach us. He will be glorified if we are faithful to him and follow the path he has for us.
**End aside**
My life is not really what I thought it would be. Sometimes I feel like I have failed those who have helped raise me up. Sometimes I feel like I have failed God because somewhere along the road, I took the wrong path. I know that in our lives we go through many times where we do not feel like we are where we are supposed to be. I know that God is constantly preparing us and using our past roads to teach us about what is ahead. I believe that I am right where I am supposed to be; although in the eyes of people I may not be. God is preparing me for what's next. I know in my heart God has bigger things for me than I can even imagine, starting with marrying my best friend. I am not sure what's next but I know that through much prayer and just being still in the presence of God, I will not be lead astray.
Friday, October 19, 2007
Great is thy faithfulness...
What is a blog?
Is it something that is kept up with by sharing thoughts, ideas, or just what is on one's mind? Well, I can tell you that it is something that I have not kept up with so I do not even know if this is worthy enough to be called a blog. I have said this several times (if you scroll through and look at previous posts, posted few and far between) that I would actually like to write more in this. I am trying to become a more disciplined person, so this would be good practice for me. Even if it is just writing a sentence or two every day or so, that would be more discipline than I have shown in blogging thus far. Actually, in the past I blogged much more. You can check out my very old blogs by clicking on the links below.
http://bloomiebiscuit.easyjournal.com/
http://shaundrajonanda.livejournal.com/
Life seems to be flying by. Where did September go, and how are we already passed mid-October? It is great being home, as it is the first Michigan fall I've seen in 5 years. I can't really constitute this as an authentic Michigan fall because of how warm it has been. I feel like I have brought the Tennessee fall home with me! It has been great spending time with family, constant friends that have been in my life, and Mark. I am so blessed to have so many loving relationships in my life.
This time in my life is a very awkward time. I had lunch with Marianne and my sister yesterday, and I was telling them how I just don't fit in anywhere right now. I have no title as I once did as a high school or college student. I am not married nor do I have any children. I do not have the job that I went to school for, and thus am working at a few different places for now. I just don't fit in any catergory. I know that this happens to many college alumns. It is good for me to find my identity in other places-not in a title. I just need prayer right now. I need to be content with where I am, but not content enough to stop looking for what I want. I need to know that the things I am involved in right now are still shaping me towards the future and what God has for me. Most importantly, I must realize that even now I am doing God's work, even if it is not what I envisioned. He is faithful...I definately know that.
"For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus."
-Phil 1:5, NASB
Is it something that is kept up with by sharing thoughts, ideas, or just what is on one's mind? Well, I can tell you that it is something that I have not kept up with so I do not even know if this is worthy enough to be called a blog. I have said this several times (if you scroll through and look at previous posts, posted few and far between) that I would actually like to write more in this. I am trying to become a more disciplined person, so this would be good practice for me. Even if it is just writing a sentence or two every day or so, that would be more discipline than I have shown in blogging thus far. Actually, in the past I blogged much more. You can check out my very old blogs by clicking on the links below.
http://bloomiebiscuit.easyjournal.com/
http://shaundrajonanda.livejournal.com/
Life seems to be flying by. Where did September go, and how are we already passed mid-October? It is great being home, as it is the first Michigan fall I've seen in 5 years. I can't really constitute this as an authentic Michigan fall because of how warm it has been. I feel like I have brought the Tennessee fall home with me! It has been great spending time with family, constant friends that have been in my life, and Mark. I am so blessed to have so many loving relationships in my life.
This time in my life is a very awkward time. I had lunch with Marianne and my sister yesterday, and I was telling them how I just don't fit in anywhere right now. I have no title as I once did as a high school or college student. I am not married nor do I have any children. I do not have the job that I went to school for, and thus am working at a few different places for now. I just don't fit in any catergory. I know that this happens to many college alumns. It is good for me to find my identity in other places-not in a title. I just need prayer right now. I need to be content with where I am, but not content enough to stop looking for what I want. I need to know that the things I am involved in right now are still shaping me towards the future and what God has for me. Most importantly, I must realize that even now I am doing God's work, even if it is not what I envisioned. He is faithful...I definately know that.
"For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus."
-Phil 1:5, NASB
Monday, August 06, 2007
Home.
I am now home from college after obtaining my bachelor degree and trying to find the path that God has for me. It is difficult venturing towards the unknown, but I will use this description that I keep in the files of my mind; it's like I have a blindfold on that will remain until I am ready to see what is beyond it. The clincher is this: God has my hand. No matter what is in front of me, around me, or in my past, God has been, is, and will be with me through my life. That is a very comforting feeling and realization.
Something that is difficult to believe is how the last five years of my life flew by. I started that journey with different dreams than I have now. The way my life is turning out is vastly different from what I always thought it would be. I always pictured myself as someone who would never settle down, but instead would travel and perform. I did not think that I would end up in West Michigan or anywhere really. I did not see myself as conventional or traditional but rather someone who was always looking for something new.
Now I dream of the conventional life, settling down, getting married, having children (eventually), and living close to the ones that I love and who have seen me through everything. Some people can live their lives in such a way where they never make roots. I want the roots that I have to grow. I guess in these last five years I have grown up some. I am the same person seeing life through eyes with much more life experience. I have been through much more, been given more responsibilities, learned how to budget better (thanks Mark), learned better time management, learned how to better prioritize, and more. I love making lists and checking things off of them; I actually get joy out of this. The big check that I cannot cross of my list is my finding a job in my field of study. This may remain on my list for a while, which I know is common. The inner part of me feels like I have failed myself, but at the same time, I know that I cannot rush where God wants me to be, especially if I or the place is not ready yet.
This is the prayer that I have for my life each day:
My purpose is to glorify God by drawing nearer to him each day, seeking out his will, having faith in the unknown, and trusting his plan for my life- even when times are difficult.
The truth is that God is the only one that will never let me down because his will is perfect. If I trust in him, I can say that I am putting my trust in everything.
God has given me so much to be thankful for; so in him, I give thanks.
Something that is difficult to believe is how the last five years of my life flew by. I started that journey with different dreams than I have now. The way my life is turning out is vastly different from what I always thought it would be. I always pictured myself as someone who would never settle down, but instead would travel and perform. I did not think that I would end up in West Michigan or anywhere really. I did not see myself as conventional or traditional but rather someone who was always looking for something new.
Now I dream of the conventional life, settling down, getting married, having children (eventually), and living close to the ones that I love and who have seen me through everything. Some people can live their lives in such a way where they never make roots. I want the roots that I have to grow. I guess in these last five years I have grown up some. I am the same person seeing life through eyes with much more life experience. I have been through much more, been given more responsibilities, learned how to budget better (thanks Mark), learned better time management, learned how to better prioritize, and more. I love making lists and checking things off of them; I actually get joy out of this. The big check that I cannot cross of my list is my finding a job in my field of study. This may remain on my list for a while, which I know is common. The inner part of me feels like I have failed myself, but at the same time, I know that I cannot rush where God wants me to be, especially if I or the place is not ready yet.
This is the prayer that I have for my life each day:
My purpose is to glorify God by drawing nearer to him each day, seeking out his will, having faith in the unknown, and trusting his plan for my life- even when times are difficult.
The truth is that God is the only one that will never let me down because his will is perfect. If I trust in him, I can say that I am putting my trust in everything.
God has given me so much to be thankful for; so in him, I give thanks.
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