Friday, October 19, 2007

Great is thy faithfulness...

What is a blog?
Is it something that is kept up with by sharing thoughts, ideas, or just what is on one's mind? Well, I can tell you that it is something that I have not kept up with so I do not even know if this is worthy enough to be called a blog. I have said this several times (if you scroll through and look at previous posts, posted few and far between) that I would actually like to write more in this. I am trying to become a more disciplined person, so this would be good practice for me. Even if it is just writing a sentence or two every day or so, that would be more discipline than I have shown in blogging thus far. Actually, in the past I blogged much more. You can check out my very old blogs by clicking on the links below.
Life seems to be flying by. Where did September go, and how are we already passed mid-October? It is great being home, as it is the first Michigan fall I've seen in 5 years. I can't really constitute this as an authentic Michigan fall because of how warm it has been. I feel like I have brought the Tennessee fall home with me! It has been great spending time with family, constant friends that have been in my life, and Mark. I am so blessed to have so many loving relationships in my life.

This time in my life is a very awkward time. I had lunch with Marianne and my sister yesterday, and I was telling them how I just don't fit in anywhere right now. I have no title as I once did as a high school or college student. I am not married nor do I have any children. I do not have the job that I went to school for, and thus am working at a few different places for now. I just don't fit in any catergory. I know that this happens to many college alumns. It is good for me to find my identity in other places-not in a title. I just need prayer right now. I need to be content with where I am, but not content enough to stop looking for what I want. I need to know that the things I am involved in right now are still shaping me towards the future and what God has for me. Most importantly, I must realize that even now I am doing God's work, even if it is not what I envisioned. He is faithful...I definately know that.

"For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus."
-Phil 1:5, NASB

Monday, August 06, 2007


I am now home from college after obtaining my bachelor degree and trying to find the path that God has for me. It is difficult venturing towards the unknown, but I will use this description that I keep in the files of my mind; it's like I have a blindfold on that will remain until I am ready to see what is beyond it. The clincher is this: God has my hand. No matter what is in front of me, around me, or in my past, God has been, is, and will be with me through my life. That is a very comforting feeling and realization.

Something that is difficult to believe is how the last five years of my life flew by. I started that journey with different dreams than I have now. The way my life is turning out is vastly different from what I always thought it would be. I always pictured myself as someone who would never settle down, but instead would travel and perform. I did not think that I would end up in West Michigan or anywhere really. I did not see myself as conventional or traditional but rather someone who was always looking for something new.

Now I dream of the conventional life, settling down, getting married, having children (eventually), and living close to the ones that I love and who have seen me through everything. Some people can live their lives in such a way where they never make roots. I want the roots that I have to grow. I guess in these last five years I have grown up some. I am the same person seeing life through eyes with much more life experience. I have been through much more, been given more responsibilities, learned how to budget better (thanks Mark), learned better time management, learned how to better prioritize, and more. I love making lists and checking things off of them; I actually get joy out of this. The big check that I cannot cross of my list is my finding a job in my field of study. This may remain on my list for a while, which I know is common. The inner part of me feels like I have failed myself, but at the same time, I know that I cannot rush where God wants me to be, especially if I or the place is not ready yet.

This is the prayer that I have for my life each day:
My purpose is to glorify God by drawing nearer to him each day, seeking out his will, having faith in the unknown, and trusting his plan for my life- even when times are difficult.
The truth is that God is the only one that will never let me down because his will is perfect. If I trust in him, I can say that I am putting my trust in everything.

God has given me so much to be thankful for; so in him, I give thanks.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Our fallenness...

One way for me to blog more often is to copy what I am writing in class. I am taking a Johannine Literature class, and I love it! I have to write papers for mostly every class on my reading, and from time to time will post them on here. It has only been a week and a half since I started this class, but it has been such an encouragement to me already, and it is helping me to re-evaluate my own life; it is showing me where I am not putting God first in my life. What I wrote below is taken from 1 John 2:3-27.

"This is how we know we are in Him!"
1 John 2:3-27 is a passage which includes much encouragement to those who are believers of God, but is also one that includes a warning about those who are "antichrists." John drives the point home that we know God by keeping his commands. He elaborates on this much, and really wants the audience to understand this. Because we believe in God, we are changed; on the inside and outside. If there is no change in our lives, we were probably never believers in the first place. This is very important; we often fall and mess up in our lives, but when we do it over and over again, our motives are questioned. This is accented in verse 4, in which those who constantly are disobedient are called liars, and the truth is not in them. John is reminded the children of God of this, and how we are to constantly re-evaluate ourselves; making sure that we are living in God. When we keep God's commands, His love is completed in us!
One of the things that really struck me about this passage is how much our lives should be changed when God enters in. John is writing to a group of people who, as he encourages in verse 21, know the truth. He wanted them to be aware of themselves, but he was more concerned with them being aware of those who have gone out and denounced God. These are the people who walked in the same circles as them, but they did not really know God, the truth, or His fellowship. John was encouraging them for their persistence and standing firm in their faith, and he wanted them to continue with this. If they know the truth, why did he drive this point home so far? He did this because people are born with a sinful nature and can become tempted and fall very easily. He wanted those who knew the truth to continue living for God, and to be constantly aware of the change that has occurred in their lives. He did not want them to be content, but always seeking God and trying to become more like Him. Once we become content with ourselves, and think we are good enough, that is when it is easiest to fall.

"Any love that we have in God must find its origin in Him" -Daniel Akin

Question: Do we make the connection with the fact that loving God is not just a feeling or a spiritual thing; it is demonstrated by our actions? Have we forgotten that God demonstrated his love for us by sending His only son to become sin for us? I really think that is what John was trying to emphasize this as well. We want to know God, abide in God, and have fellowship with Him. We cannot even experience the fellowship and love of God without knowing Christ first! Believing in Christ is not just something we do on Sundays; it is loving God by keeping his commands daily. Love is an action word. Loving God is a testimony; if we are not following His commands daily, we are not showing Him our love, and thus, we were probably never believers in the first place.