I always do this.

I am so good at re-starting my blog and then not continuing with it.
I am determined to get back into the blogging world, including keeping up with friends/family blogs, but I don't get online enough.
For this reason I make no promises for keeping up with this. I will, when I remember and have time to do so, write a blog, or read yours. If I do well enough I will eventually (maybe) have readership and enjoy reading about the what God is doing in the lives of others. I know this will bless me if I can get the discipline to do so.

So much has happened in my life. July 4, 2008 changed my life, as Mark proposed to me. We are getting ready for our April 25th wedding! It is very overwhelming but so exciting. I constantly remember the wise words of those who have already wed, reminding me that the day of my wedding will be amazing but the days after are what I really need to be planning for. I hope I will make a good wife and be the helper that God created me to be. I am very traditional and believe fully what the bible has to say about marriage. I hope I am not going into this in a naive way but I truly believe that Mark is to be the head of our household. That does not make my role "inferior" by any means; Mark COULD NOT be the head of the household without a helper. He could not fulfill his role unless I am faithfully fulfilling mine.

**An aside**
Those of you who know me know that I am NOT a natural leader. My philosophy has always been that there could not be leaders without followers. Call that lazy, but it's what I believe(d). Over the past few years I have been re-thinking this philosophy. Although I am not a natural leader God still created me to lead in certain ways. This means often I have to step out of my comfort zone. Often times I just don't want to; I am uncomfortable in a leadership position. I know that God commands us to obey him and through obeying him he will truly bless us and teach us. He will be glorified if we are faithful to him and follow the path he has for us.
**End aside**

My life is not really what I thought it would be. Sometimes I feel like I have failed those who have helped raise me up. Sometimes I feel like I have failed God because somewhere along the road, I took the wrong path. I know that in our lives we go through many times where we do not feel like we are where we are supposed to be. I know that God is constantly preparing us and using our past roads to teach us about what is ahead. I believe that I am right where I am supposed to be; although in the eyes of people I may not be. God is preparing me for what's next. I know in my heart God has bigger things for me than I can even imagine, starting with marrying my best friend. I am not sure what's next but I know that through much prayer and just being still in the presence of God, I will not be lead astray.