"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly so that his place shall never be with those timid souls who know neither victory or defeat."
~ Theodore Roosevelt
To further this quote, the credit is really given to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, who has enabled and equipped us to live our lives for Him as our worthy cause. We will go through trials and tredge through the valley many times, but it is how we endure this that really counts. It is how we praise God through these times and stay faithful to Him who is always faithful to us. It is not becoming apathetic when circumstances are much too difficult to think about; it is practicing our faith that develops perseverance.
Come what may, press on for our Savior!
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Monday, June 25, 2012
"Those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength"
"To wait on God means to pause and soberly consider our own inadequacy and the Lord’s all-sufficiency, and to seek counsel and help from the Lord, and to hope in Him (Psalm. 33:20-22; Isa. 8:17)… The folly of not waiting for God is that we forfeit the blessing of having God work for us. The evil of not waiting on God is that we oppose God’s will to exalt Himself in mercy."
- John Piper
Psalm 33:20-22
"We wait in hope for the Lord; He is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. May your unfailing love be with us, Lord, even as we put our hope in you.
I'm working on my ability to really wait on the Lord. Not everything in my life has lined up how I planned it would. In many ways this is a wonderful thing. When I was a senior in high school, I had my future ahead of me. I didn't know exactly what was going to happen and that was exciting to me. I did, however, have some sort of timeline for when I thought significant things would happen in my life. So far, in my own terms, I am behind from where I envisioned I would be. But, maybe I wasn't ready for the bigger things that I wanted at an earlier time. God has taught me so much while I was waiting for answers in the past. Also, my timing is not God's timing. He knows the future and I do not. So, what may be waiting for me is really God preparing me for what He has in store for me.
I know that "He is before all things and in Him all things hold together" (Colossians 1:17). Also, Romans 8:28 says: "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose".
These things I know in my heart and my mind. But to actually put them into practice can prove difficult at times, for anyone. Especially since we live in an instant gratificaton society; "we want what we want when we want it".
This kind of mentality does not work for a Christian's walk. Like I said, I know all of these things. But sometimes I really just do not want to wait. It's not even just in the big things, it's in the small things as well. Sometimes when I'm driving, I don't want to wait for the stoplight or the slow person in front of me, but I have to. Other times I don't want to wait in line at the grocery store while I watch the people in front of me who should not be in the self-scan lane. :-)
I do believe these small instances in waiting are good practice for me in order to be able to wait for the bigger, more important things.
No matter what, GOD IS GOOD!!! His time is perfect and mine is not. God has a plan and a purpose for everything.
- John Piper
Psalm 33:20-22
"We wait in hope for the Lord; He is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. May your unfailing love be with us, Lord, even as we put our hope in you.
I'm working on my ability to really wait on the Lord. Not everything in my life has lined up how I planned it would. In many ways this is a wonderful thing. When I was a senior in high school, I had my future ahead of me. I didn't know exactly what was going to happen and that was exciting to me. I did, however, have some sort of timeline for when I thought significant things would happen in my life. So far, in my own terms, I am behind from where I envisioned I would be. But, maybe I wasn't ready for the bigger things that I wanted at an earlier time. God has taught me so much while I was waiting for answers in the past. Also, my timing is not God's timing. He knows the future and I do not. So, what may be waiting for me is really God preparing me for what He has in store for me.
I know that "He is before all things and in Him all things hold together" (Colossians 1:17). Also, Romans 8:28 says: "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose".
These things I know in my heart and my mind. But to actually put them into practice can prove difficult at times, for anyone. Especially since we live in an instant gratificaton society; "we want what we want when we want it".
This kind of mentality does not work for a Christian's walk. Like I said, I know all of these things. But sometimes I really just do not want to wait. It's not even just in the big things, it's in the small things as well. Sometimes when I'm driving, I don't want to wait for the stoplight or the slow person in front of me, but I have to. Other times I don't want to wait in line at the grocery store while I watch the people in front of me who should not be in the self-scan lane. :-)
I do believe these small instances in waiting are good practice for me in order to be able to wait for the bigger, more important things.
No matter what, GOD IS GOOD!!! His time is perfect and mine is not. God has a plan and a purpose for everything.
Monday, June 18, 2012
Mayo Clinic...
In just a few short weeks I'll be making my way over to Iowa and Minnesota for a few days. The Iowa part of the trip will be a very fun time as I'll get to see my grandparents as well as several of my aunts, uncles, cousins, their kids, etc. My extended family is spread throughout the US so getting together doesn't happen but once every few years or so. I think most of us are staying at my grandparents house, which Mark and I will be camping outside the house with our cousins. I am especially happy because it didn't look like Mark was going to join me because of work, but he was able to get his work schedule all figured out (yay!). We are actually going to be in a kind of caravan. Since my parents, Amber & Mike and their kids are going, it doesn't make sense for us all to drive seperately. We'll be riding with Amber & Mike and helping them with their kids, as well as sharing the driving responsibility.
After we're in Iowa for a couple of days, Mark and I will be taking a day trip to drive a couple of hours to Minnesota. This part of the trip will not be fun, but I suppose it is necessary. I'll be going back there for what I hope is my last trip to the Mayo Clinic. When I was diagnosed with cancer 7 years ago (has it really been that long??), I didn't realize I would STILL be going there to get checked out. I guess the reason they still want to see me is because I was freshly 21 when it all started. Even now at 28 I am still pretty young if it rears its head again. I guess I'd rather be prepared and take the necessary precautions.
I get a tag edgy during these appointments. They have occurred yearly since I was cured, but the last time I went they decided to put me on a bi-yearly basis. These are the tests that diagnosed me in the first place so this is like dejavu for me; I get worried so I take it out on the people I love (mainly, Mark). I guess I don't handle the appointment internally very well so I lash out. It's completely not fair but thankfully I have a wonderful husband who understands me. I am in prayer that I can find a way to enjoy myself even though this isn't a fun appointment. I can enjoy the beautiful facility and the beautiful music that comes from the clinic. There are such beautiful full-sized, grand pianos to play. The Mayo Clinic encourages music and the healing effect on attitude it has on people. Also, where we eat lunch will be fun. We always go to the "Canadian Honker", which is a weird name but it has GREAT food!! I need to enjoy these things and keep my feelings in tact so I don't hurt Mark's feelings on accident.
I know that whatever happens at the Mayo Clinic, God will hold me in the palm of His hands. He has given me the most wonderful family and friends who love and support me. I know I am safe with God, come what may.
After we're in Iowa for a couple of days, Mark and I will be taking a day trip to drive a couple of hours to Minnesota. This part of the trip will not be fun, but I suppose it is necessary. I'll be going back there for what I hope is my last trip to the Mayo Clinic. When I was diagnosed with cancer 7 years ago (has it really been that long??), I didn't realize I would STILL be going there to get checked out. I guess the reason they still want to see me is because I was freshly 21 when it all started. Even now at 28 I am still pretty young if it rears its head again. I guess I'd rather be prepared and take the necessary precautions.
I get a tag edgy during these appointments. They have occurred yearly since I was cured, but the last time I went they decided to put me on a bi-yearly basis. These are the tests that diagnosed me in the first place so this is like dejavu for me; I get worried so I take it out on the people I love (mainly, Mark). I guess I don't handle the appointment internally very well so I lash out. It's completely not fair but thankfully I have a wonderful husband who understands me. I am in prayer that I can find a way to enjoy myself even though this isn't a fun appointment. I can enjoy the beautiful facility and the beautiful music that comes from the clinic. There are such beautiful full-sized, grand pianos to play. The Mayo Clinic encourages music and the healing effect on attitude it has on people. Also, where we eat lunch will be fun. We always go to the "Canadian Honker", which is a weird name but it has GREAT food!! I need to enjoy these things and keep my feelings in tact so I don't hurt Mark's feelings on accident.
I know that whatever happens at the Mayo Clinic, God will hold me in the palm of His hands. He has given me the most wonderful family and friends who love and support me. I know I am safe with God, come what may.
Sunday, June 03, 2012
Ahhhhhhh Sundays.....
There is truly nothing like a Sunday afternoon to me. Especially this one. It is absolutely gorgeous outside--not too hot, not too cold. I don't feel the need to HAVE to be productive today either. To me, this is Sunday, a day of rest. Although the day doesn't start out too restful (since I work at church), it is really my favorite day of the week.
Yes, I do have to work on Sundays, but it's the kind of work that I LOVE! Furthermore, starting out the week worshipping my Savior with other believers is so wonderful. It doesn't mean that I'm not going to have a difficult week but it sure makes it a little easier to bear knowing God is with me.
Rascal Flatts came out with a song a while back called "Mayberry", which actually is the ringtone on my cell phone right now. There is a line in it that goes, "Sunday was a day of rest, now it's one more day for progress." I truly believe that is what our society has made Sundays into; another day to get ahead.
Now, keep in mind that I was not brought up in the tradition of avoiding places of business on Sundays. In fact, many Sundays I would go shopping or out to eat. In more recent years, while I was waitressing, I was the one rushing out of church after changing into my work uniform, trying to get there on time. Now, after being married for 3 years to someone who was brought up not to go places of business on Sundays, I really see the value of it.
Of course, there are some places that cannot be closed, and thus, many people have to work: hospitals, police stations, fire stations, etc., you get the idea. But after seeing it through my husband's eyes, I really see that we are supposed to rest.
For a while, I fought back against him. In fact, I remember saying to him quite often, "you're not going to change this so I don't know why you even bother to try!" I wasn't raised this way and I didn't see it being a problem. The argument I would raise to him a lot is that I never really had Sundays off so as long as I had another day to rest and regroup, it really doesn't matter which day of the week that was. However, I decided that if he was really adamant about this then I needed to respect his wishes and be submissive in this way.
Upon my respecting his wishes, I have begun to undestand just what he has meant this entire time. Again, I understand that many people HAVE to work, for the reasons I mentioned in two prior paragraphs. But, why does every restaurant have to be opened? Why does every shopping place have to be opened? Why are schools moving sporting events to Sundays now? What happened to the sacredness of Sundays?
Chick-Fil-A is a very well-known chain, mostly in southern states (we need one here though. It is delicious!!). They are not opened Sundays and believe me, they are not hurting from this in the least! In Michigan we have Russ', which is also closed on Sundays and they seem to be doing just fine.
I feel a little old fashioned in my new view, but I have really come to embrace this as my own belief. Mark didn't change me; he enlightened me.
Yes, I do have to work on Sundays, but it's the kind of work that I LOVE! Furthermore, starting out the week worshipping my Savior with other believers is so wonderful. It doesn't mean that I'm not going to have a difficult week but it sure makes it a little easier to bear knowing God is with me.
Rascal Flatts came out with a song a while back called "Mayberry", which actually is the ringtone on my cell phone right now. There is a line in it that goes, "Sunday was a day of rest, now it's one more day for progress." I truly believe that is what our society has made Sundays into; another day to get ahead.
Now, keep in mind that I was not brought up in the tradition of avoiding places of business on Sundays. In fact, many Sundays I would go shopping or out to eat. In more recent years, while I was waitressing, I was the one rushing out of church after changing into my work uniform, trying to get there on time. Now, after being married for 3 years to someone who was brought up not to go places of business on Sundays, I really see the value of it.
Of course, there are some places that cannot be closed, and thus, many people have to work: hospitals, police stations, fire stations, etc., you get the idea. But after seeing it through my husband's eyes, I really see that we are supposed to rest.
For a while, I fought back against him. In fact, I remember saying to him quite often, "you're not going to change this so I don't know why you even bother to try!" I wasn't raised this way and I didn't see it being a problem. The argument I would raise to him a lot is that I never really had Sundays off so as long as I had another day to rest and regroup, it really doesn't matter which day of the week that was. However, I decided that if he was really adamant about this then I needed to respect his wishes and be submissive in this way.
Upon my respecting his wishes, I have begun to undestand just what he has meant this entire time. Again, I understand that many people HAVE to work, for the reasons I mentioned in two prior paragraphs. But, why does every restaurant have to be opened? Why does every shopping place have to be opened? Why are schools moving sporting events to Sundays now? What happened to the sacredness of Sundays?
Chick-Fil-A is a very well-known chain, mostly in southern states (we need one here though. It is delicious!!). They are not opened Sundays and believe me, they are not hurting from this in the least! In Michigan we have Russ', which is also closed on Sundays and they seem to be doing just fine.
I feel a little old fashioned in my new view, but I have really come to embrace this as my own belief. Mark didn't change me; he enlightened me.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Besides the last blog I wrote today, it has really been some time since I've spent any time on here, recording the memories of my life. Although I've said this several times, I would just love to get into the habit of writing in this blog. There will be many wonderful things that happen in my life as well as trials. Some of these things will be quite big and significant and others may be small in comparison. If I don't write them down, I will missing out later on when my memory fails me (although, it already has at times).
Here are a couple significant changes that have happened since the last time I blogged in August 2010:
Enter, Grace Lucille Peterson:
The newest addition to the Bloomberg Family is the birth of my niece on October 19th, 2011. She is daughter to Barry and Sarah Peterson. She is such a beautiful, joyful baby and I could not be more proud of my younger sister. I have seen so much growth in the Lord in Sarah, which Grace will surely benefit from!
Unity Reformed Church:
Although I was helping out at this church the last time I blogged, this has now become where I both worship and work. I absolutely love the opportunity to honor our God with not only what I love to do, but what I have my degree in as well. This church has really embraced me with open arms and I am so grateful. They have truly become part of my family.
I am really loving life right now with being able to have lots of family around me and also a loving husband. God has blessed me with more than I deserve, and for this I am grateful. I know He has brought me through many times of trials too, which makes this time out of the valley so much sweeter. I know that whatever comes my way, I am in my Savior's hands and I have the support of my loving family and friends.
Hopefully, these two posts today are the first of many to come. :-)
Here are a couple significant changes that have happened since the last time I blogged in August 2010:
Enter, Grace Lucille Peterson:
The newest addition to the Bloomberg Family is the birth of my niece on October 19th, 2011. She is daughter to Barry and Sarah Peterson. She is such a beautiful, joyful baby and I could not be more proud of my younger sister. I have seen so much growth in the Lord in Sarah, which Grace will surely benefit from!
Unity Reformed Church:
Although I was helping out at this church the last time I blogged, this has now become where I both worship and work. I absolutely love the opportunity to honor our God with not only what I love to do, but what I have my degree in as well. This church has really embraced me with open arms and I am so grateful. They have truly become part of my family.
I am really loving life right now with being able to have lots of family around me and also a loving husband. God has blessed me with more than I deserve, and for this I am grateful. I know He has brought me through many times of trials too, which makes this time out of the valley so much sweeter. I know that whatever comes my way, I am in my Savior's hands and I have the support of my loving family and friends.
Hopefully, these two posts today are the first of many to come. :-)
The Love of God
This is perhaps one of my favorite hymns. The words are so powerful--how measureless and strong is the love of our God!!
The love of God is greater far than tongue of pen can ever tell;
It goes beyond the highest star, and reaches to the lowest hell;The love of God is greater far than tongue of pen can ever tell;
The guilty pair, bowed down with care, God gave his Son to win;
His erring child he reconciled, and pardoned from his sin.
It shall forevermore endure the saints' and angels' song.
The verse below was penciled on the wall of a narrow room in an insane asylum by a man said to have been demented. The profound lines were discovered when they laid him in his coffin.
Could we with ink the ocean fill, and were the skies of parchment made.
Were every stalk on earth a quill, and every man a scribe by trade;
To write the love of God above would drain the ocean dry;
Nor could the scroll contain the whole, though stretched from sky to sky.
O love of God, how rich and pure, how measureless and strong!
It shall forevermore endure the saints' and angels' song.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
God and running...:-)
I think A LOT. It's just getting out on paper or on a blog that seems to be the problem. One particular way in which my thoughts are transpired is through running. Running has become something that I absolutely love to do. Usually I run the best when I have a problem I am facing and sometimes I can even come up with a solution to it. Most times this is a prayerful time for me to just be alone with God and my thoughts.
It's really neat living in Spring Lake, MI. They have wonderful bike/running paths so that all may be able to keep an active lifestyle. There are several types of people that run or bike:
-Those who are just starting out and need plenty of encouragement.
-Those who have been at it for a while and are in the middle of the pack.
-Those who are quite advanced in their activity and have a more competitive edge.
Out of these 3 categories I fall in the middle of the pack. One of my favorite things about running/biking is that you can receive verbal or unverbal encouragement from those pass by. I love getting "the knod" from those who are also in the middle of their physical activity. To me that means, "keep it up, you're doing great." Some people will actually speak these words as I'm passing by which is very helpful too. In fact, I was running recently when one of my high school teachers passed by on his bike. Maybe he could tell I was struggling, maybe not. He didn't even know it was me but he still shouted words of affirmation as he passed me by. That really meant something to me and it DID help me to keep going.
I think there is something more here beyond just physical activity. In our Christian walk we are all in vastly different places:
-Some have been Christians for years and are growing more and more each day.
-Others may have also been Christians for years but might have had a time of struggle in which they turned away from God for a period of time.
-Others may be just starting out and are excited about the new life they are starting.
-There are those who are "newer" to Christianity but are growing and growing as well.
We are not all on the same level. We all learn differently and grow differently too. This life is not easy and it was not intended to be that way.
Something that is wonderful is when I receive encouragement from others. They may know what I am dealing with and want to give me a helpful push in the right direction. Even though we may be in a different place in our walks with the Lord the encouragement is still helpful and needed. Just like when I am running--I'll take encouragement from anyone. It definitely helps me to attain my goal and gives me a sense of what I am doing and the importance of not giving up, no matter the difficulty of the task.
"I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me- the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace"
Acts 20:24, NIV
It's really neat living in Spring Lake, MI. They have wonderful bike/running paths so that all may be able to keep an active lifestyle. There are several types of people that run or bike:
-Those who are just starting out and need plenty of encouragement.
-Those who have been at it for a while and are in the middle of the pack.
-Those who are quite advanced in their activity and have a more competitive edge.
Out of these 3 categories I fall in the middle of the pack. One of my favorite things about running/biking is that you can receive verbal or unverbal encouragement from those pass by. I love getting "the knod" from those who are also in the middle of their physical activity. To me that means, "keep it up, you're doing great." Some people will actually speak these words as I'm passing by which is very helpful too. In fact, I was running recently when one of my high school teachers passed by on his bike. Maybe he could tell I was struggling, maybe not. He didn't even know it was me but he still shouted words of affirmation as he passed me by. That really meant something to me and it DID help me to keep going.
I think there is something more here beyond just physical activity. In our Christian walk we are all in vastly different places:
-Some have been Christians for years and are growing more and more each day.
-Others may have also been Christians for years but might have had a time of struggle in which they turned away from God for a period of time.
-Others may be just starting out and are excited about the new life they are starting.
-There are those who are "newer" to Christianity but are growing and growing as well.
We are not all on the same level. We all learn differently and grow differently too. This life is not easy and it was not intended to be that way.
Something that is wonderful is when I receive encouragement from others. They may know what I am dealing with and want to give me a helpful push in the right direction. Even though we may be in a different place in our walks with the Lord the encouragement is still helpful and needed. Just like when I am running--I'll take encouragement from anyone. It definitely helps me to attain my goal and gives me a sense of what I am doing and the importance of not giving up, no matter the difficulty of the task.
"I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me- the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace"
Acts 20:24, NIV
Sunday, February 28, 2010
My prayer today
Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you another day to live and be in your presence, for this among the other countless blessings you have given me I do not deserve.
I want to take this time to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the times this week that I did not live up to your calling. I know I mess up often but it is such a comfort to know you are there to pick me up.
Lord this is such a humiliating thing for me to admit but you already know that I am guilty of this. At times I can find myself apathetic about one thing or another and I am not sure why. Maybe I'm not seeking after you enough or maybe I'm not listening. Lord, please forgive me for I know this is a deadly sin with horrific consequences. How can I find myself in this state at times when I have the greatest gift in my life?
Forgive me Lord when my heart does not break for those in need around me. You have called me to give of myself, even when it hurts. When I know there is a need that I can meet and I fail to do so, I am ignoring what is in front of me. I am selfish and wrong; I am sorry. You put people in my life who are thinking of those around them constantly. I am so thankful to you for this gift as they are a constant reminder and example to me. There are needs globally and locally as well. Help me to know where I can be effective. Let me listen to where you want me to go and be used; let me have a willing heart for you, oh God.
My heart should completely break at the thought of your crucifixion. When it does not Lord, forgive me. You gave your life so that I can live which is the greatest sacrifice. How can I not completely break every time? When we have Communion in church my tears fall easily and I am in repentance. Lord, may my tears fall not only during this time but from postlude to prelude as well.
Lord, when I am not kind to others, bring it to my attention. When I am only seeking those who are lovable, help me to seek out those who are more difficult to love. Help me to tame my tongue when it is easier to gossip and be a part of the crowd. Lord, help me to ultimately love as you called me to love, which is at the base of most of this prayer. I cannot live my life without you, nor would I want to attempt to.
Thank you for your sacrifice and for choosing to love me. Thank you for helping me up each and every time I fall. I know I will fall again but your saving love will lift me up. Thank you for your consistency and for being the same; yesterday, today and forever. I love you Lord.
Thank you another day to live and be in your presence, for this among the other countless blessings you have given me I do not deserve.
I want to take this time to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the times this week that I did not live up to your calling. I know I mess up often but it is such a comfort to know you are there to pick me up.
Lord this is such a humiliating thing for me to admit but you already know that I am guilty of this. At times I can find myself apathetic about one thing or another and I am not sure why. Maybe I'm not seeking after you enough or maybe I'm not listening. Lord, please forgive me for I know this is a deadly sin with horrific consequences. How can I find myself in this state at times when I have the greatest gift in my life?
Forgive me Lord when my heart does not break for those in need around me. You have called me to give of myself, even when it hurts. When I know there is a need that I can meet and I fail to do so, I am ignoring what is in front of me. I am selfish and wrong; I am sorry. You put people in my life who are thinking of those around them constantly. I am so thankful to you for this gift as they are a constant reminder and example to me. There are needs globally and locally as well. Help me to know where I can be effective. Let me listen to where you want me to go and be used; let me have a willing heart for you, oh God.
My heart should completely break at the thought of your crucifixion. When it does not Lord, forgive me. You gave your life so that I can live which is the greatest sacrifice. How can I not completely break every time? When we have Communion in church my tears fall easily and I am in repentance. Lord, may my tears fall not only during this time but from postlude to prelude as well.
Lord, when I am not kind to others, bring it to my attention. When I am only seeking those who are lovable, help me to seek out those who are more difficult to love. Help me to tame my tongue when it is easier to gossip and be a part of the crowd. Lord, help me to ultimately love as you called me to love, which is at the base of most of this prayer. I cannot live my life without you, nor would I want to attempt to.
Thank you for your sacrifice and for choosing to love me. Thank you for helping me up each and every time I fall. I know I will fall again but your saving love will lift me up. Thank you for your consistency and for being the same; yesterday, today and forever. I love you Lord.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
In the quiet, in the stillness I know that you are God...
In the quiet morning I enjoyed today I was reading the book of 1 Thessalonians. Some of the words and concepts are so simple to me but are strong in the meaning of what the church exists to be and what fellow believers are to one another. It is definitely helpful to know that there are those among me who help me to strive to live a more Godly life. It is wonderful when others who are close to me can walk along side me, encouraging me but also praying for me in the things that I struggle with. These are some of the highlights from my reading this morning:
"You became imitators of us and of the Lord; in spite of severe suffering, you welcomed the message with the joy given by the Holy Spirit." (1Thess. 1:6)
---I have experienced some suffering in my life, but none compared to those who are daily persecuted or even those around me who have terrible suffering. I am encouraged by my peers who are faithful to our God through these tough times.
"We were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children. We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us." (1Thess. 2:7-8)
---I love this passage. This book references both being like a gentle mother and a father who is urging them to do what is right. That is exactly how young children grow into adults and how baby Christians grow in the Lord.
"For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory."
(1 Thess. 2:11-12)
---Not only uring them but ENCOURAGING as well.
"Therefore, brothers, in all our distress and persecution we were encouraged about you because of your faith. For now we really live, since you are standing firm in the Lord. How can we thank God enough for you in return for all the joy we have in the presence of our God because of you?"
(1Thess. 3:7-9)
---I am definitely influenced by my surroundings, which can be both good and bad. It is something that I constantly have to be aware of; another reason why it is important to surround myself with people that are seeking after the Lord.
"May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it." (1 Thess. 5:23-24)
---I love the encouragement in this passage. It is extremely difficult to be a Christian: but the one who calls us to do so is FAITHFUL.
"And so you became a model to all the believers in Macedonia and Achaia. The Lord's message rang out from you not only in Macedonia and Achaia—your faith in God has become known everywhere."
(1 Thess 1:7-8)
---This was my favorite part. Not only did others around them recognize their faith but it even stretched further. The ones who saw their faith told others and so on.
Am I living in such a way that others see my faith daily? What do I need to change? I can never become complacent with where I am. I love the fact that our God is constant--his love is consistent and NEVER-CHANGING. He doesn't have to change for us, but we do for him.
I am a mess sometimes: I see this; I hate this. I want to spend the rest of my life striving to live up to this calling. One of my big problems is that I hate failure. A lot of times I avoid doing something because I am so afraid of falling flat on my face. This fear will keep me from being called to something that God wants me to do; this is sin. My fear can only be conquered with the Lord, which is comforting in itself. Not only does he call me to do his work but he will help me and walk alongside me; what a comfort and a blessing.
"You became imitators of us and of the Lord; in spite of severe suffering, you welcomed the message with the joy given by the Holy Spirit." (1Thess. 1:6)
---I have experienced some suffering in my life, but none compared to those who are daily persecuted or even those around me who have terrible suffering. I am encouraged by my peers who are faithful to our God through these tough times.
"We were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children. We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us." (1Thess. 2:7-8)
---I love this passage. This book references both being like a gentle mother and a father who is urging them to do what is right. That is exactly how young children grow into adults and how baby Christians grow in the Lord.
"For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory."
(1 Thess. 2:11-12)
---Not only uring them but ENCOURAGING as well.
"Therefore, brothers, in all our distress and persecution we were encouraged about you because of your faith. For now we really live, since you are standing firm in the Lord. How can we thank God enough for you in return for all the joy we have in the presence of our God because of you?"
(1Thess. 3:7-9)
---I am definitely influenced by my surroundings, which can be both good and bad. It is something that I constantly have to be aware of; another reason why it is important to surround myself with people that are seeking after the Lord.
"May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it." (1 Thess. 5:23-24)
---I love the encouragement in this passage. It is extremely difficult to be a Christian: but the one who calls us to do so is FAITHFUL.
"And so you became a model to all the believers in Macedonia and Achaia. The Lord's message rang out from you not only in Macedonia and Achaia—your faith in God has become known everywhere."
(1 Thess 1:7-8)
---This was my favorite part. Not only did others around them recognize their faith but it even stretched further. The ones who saw their faith told others and so on.
Am I living in such a way that others see my faith daily? What do I need to change? I can never become complacent with where I am. I love the fact that our God is constant--his love is consistent and NEVER-CHANGING. He doesn't have to change for us, but we do for him.
I am a mess sometimes: I see this; I hate this. I want to spend the rest of my life striving to live up to this calling. One of my big problems is that I hate failure. A lot of times I avoid doing something because I am so afraid of falling flat on my face. This fear will keep me from being called to something that God wants me to do; this is sin. My fear can only be conquered with the Lord, which is comforting in itself. Not only does he call me to do his work but he will help me and walk alongside me; what a comfort and a blessing.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Back in the habit...
Today at church our choir sang a very popular song from Sister Act II entitled, Joyful, Joyful. It's very interesting to me when we sing songs of this nature because it is a church of classical orientation in music. I did have fun however I have not sung in this way in quite a while. I have been singing classically more often than not over the last year. During my college graduation in 2007, I joked with a fellow classmate that I probably would never sing classical music again. I am so blessed to have the opportunities that I do, whether it be in church or with the Muskegon Chamber Choir. All have been great experiences and I am glad that God has given me the chance to continue with what I love doing.
I like to think that God is often chuckling about what we think we're going to do or not do. I really thought that since I would be returning home to Muskegon my opportunities would be limited in continuing with classical music. I'm so glad that I was wrong, but also kind of mad at the way I approached it; I guess I was thinking that Muskegon had little culture or something. In some ways it is very enriched in culture and I need to embrace it instead of going with my presuppositions. I am finding out often lately that I have many presuppositions that I need to re-think; this goes much beyond just our culture, but in people as well. God is constantly challenging me and helping me to re-think what I think I know is right....for this I am thankful.
I like to think that God is often chuckling about what we think we're going to do or not do. I really thought that since I would be returning home to Muskegon my opportunities would be limited in continuing with classical music. I'm so glad that I was wrong, but also kind of mad at the way I approached it; I guess I was thinking that Muskegon had little culture or something. In some ways it is very enriched in culture and I need to embrace it instead of going with my presuppositions. I am finding out often lately that I have many presuppositions that I need to re-think; this goes much beyond just our culture, but in people as well. God is constantly challenging me and helping me to re-think what I think I know is right....for this I am thankful.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
I always do this.
I am so good at re-starting my blog and then not continuing with it.
I am determined to get back into the blogging world, including keeping up with friends/family blogs, but I don't get online enough.
For this reason I make no promises for keeping up with this. I will, when I remember and have time to do so, write a blog, or read yours. If I do well enough I will eventually (maybe) have readership and enjoy reading about the what God is doing in the lives of others. I know this will bless me if I can get the discipline to do so.
So much has happened in my life. July 4, 2008 changed my life, as Mark proposed to me. We are getting ready for our April 25th wedding! It is very overwhelming but so exciting. I constantly remember the wise words of those who have already wed, reminding me that the day of my wedding will be amazing but the days after are what I really need to be planning for. I hope I will make a good wife and be the helper that God created me to be. I am very traditional and believe fully what the bible has to say about marriage. I hope I am not going into this in a naive way but I truly believe that Mark is to be the head of our household. That does not make my role "inferior" by any means; Mark COULD NOT be the head of the household without a helper. He could not fulfill his role unless I am faithfully fulfilling mine.
**An aside**
Those of you who know me know that I am NOT a natural leader. My philosophy has always been that there could not be leaders without followers. Call that lazy, but it's what I believe(d). Over the past few years I have been re-thinking this philosophy. Although I am not a natural leader God still created me to lead in certain ways. This means often I have to step out of my comfort zone. Often times I just don't want to; I am uncomfortable in a leadership position. I know that God commands us to obey him and through obeying him he will truly bless us and teach us. He will be glorified if we are faithful to him and follow the path he has for us.
**End aside**
My life is not really what I thought it would be. Sometimes I feel like I have failed those who have helped raise me up. Sometimes I feel like I have failed God because somewhere along the road, I took the wrong path. I know that in our lives we go through many times where we do not feel like we are where we are supposed to be. I know that God is constantly preparing us and using our past roads to teach us about what is ahead. I believe that I am right where I am supposed to be; although in the eyes of people I may not be. God is preparing me for what's next. I know in my heart God has bigger things for me than I can even imagine, starting with marrying my best friend. I am not sure what's next but I know that through much prayer and just being still in the presence of God, I will not be lead astray.
I am determined to get back into the blogging world, including keeping up with friends/family blogs, but I don't get online enough.
For this reason I make no promises for keeping up with this. I will, when I remember and have time to do so, write a blog, or read yours. If I do well enough I will eventually (maybe) have readership and enjoy reading about the what God is doing in the lives of others. I know this will bless me if I can get the discipline to do so.
So much has happened in my life. July 4, 2008 changed my life, as Mark proposed to me. We are getting ready for our April 25th wedding! It is very overwhelming but so exciting. I constantly remember the wise words of those who have already wed, reminding me that the day of my wedding will be amazing but the days after are what I really need to be planning for. I hope I will make a good wife and be the helper that God created me to be. I am very traditional and believe fully what the bible has to say about marriage. I hope I am not going into this in a naive way but I truly believe that Mark is to be the head of our household. That does not make my role "inferior" by any means; Mark COULD NOT be the head of the household without a helper. He could not fulfill his role unless I am faithfully fulfilling mine.
**An aside**
Those of you who know me know that I am NOT a natural leader. My philosophy has always been that there could not be leaders without followers. Call that lazy, but it's what I believe(d). Over the past few years I have been re-thinking this philosophy. Although I am not a natural leader God still created me to lead in certain ways. This means often I have to step out of my comfort zone. Often times I just don't want to; I am uncomfortable in a leadership position. I know that God commands us to obey him and through obeying him he will truly bless us and teach us. He will be glorified if we are faithful to him and follow the path he has for us.
**End aside**
My life is not really what I thought it would be. Sometimes I feel like I have failed those who have helped raise me up. Sometimes I feel like I have failed God because somewhere along the road, I took the wrong path. I know that in our lives we go through many times where we do not feel like we are where we are supposed to be. I know that God is constantly preparing us and using our past roads to teach us about what is ahead. I believe that I am right where I am supposed to be; although in the eyes of people I may not be. God is preparing me for what's next. I know in my heart God has bigger things for me than I can even imagine, starting with marrying my best friend. I am not sure what's next but I know that through much prayer and just being still in the presence of God, I will not be lead astray.
Friday, October 19, 2007
Great is thy faithfulness...
What is a blog?
Is it something that is kept up with by sharing thoughts, ideas, or just what is on one's mind? Well, I can tell you that it is something that I have not kept up with so I do not even know if this is worthy enough to be called a blog. I have said this several times (if you scroll through and look at previous posts, posted few and far between) that I would actually like to write more in this. I am trying to become a more disciplined person, so this would be good practice for me. Even if it is just writing a sentence or two every day or so, that would be more discipline than I have shown in blogging thus far. Actually, in the past I blogged much more. You can check out my very old blogs by clicking on the links below.
http://bloomiebiscuit.easyjournal.com/
http://shaundrajonanda.livejournal.com/
Life seems to be flying by. Where did September go, and how are we already passed mid-October? It is great being home, as it is the first Michigan fall I've seen in 5 years. I can't really constitute this as an authentic Michigan fall because of how warm it has been. I feel like I have brought the Tennessee fall home with me! It has been great spending time with family, constant friends that have been in my life, and Mark. I am so blessed to have so many loving relationships in my life.
This time in my life is a very awkward time. I had lunch with Marianne and my sister yesterday, and I was telling them how I just don't fit in anywhere right now. I have no title as I once did as a high school or college student. I am not married nor do I have any children. I do not have the job that I went to school for, and thus am working at a few different places for now. I just don't fit in any catergory. I know that this happens to many college alumns. It is good for me to find my identity in other places-not in a title. I just need prayer right now. I need to be content with where I am, but not content enough to stop looking for what I want. I need to know that the things I am involved in right now are still shaping me towards the future and what God has for me. Most importantly, I must realize that even now I am doing God's work, even if it is not what I envisioned. He is faithful...I definately know that.
"For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus."
-Phil 1:5, NASB
Is it something that is kept up with by sharing thoughts, ideas, or just what is on one's mind? Well, I can tell you that it is something that I have not kept up with so I do not even know if this is worthy enough to be called a blog. I have said this several times (if you scroll through and look at previous posts, posted few and far between) that I would actually like to write more in this. I am trying to become a more disciplined person, so this would be good practice for me. Even if it is just writing a sentence or two every day or so, that would be more discipline than I have shown in blogging thus far. Actually, in the past I blogged much more. You can check out my very old blogs by clicking on the links below.
http://bloomiebiscuit.easyjournal.com/
http://shaundrajonanda.livejournal.com/
Life seems to be flying by. Where did September go, and how are we already passed mid-October? It is great being home, as it is the first Michigan fall I've seen in 5 years. I can't really constitute this as an authentic Michigan fall because of how warm it has been. I feel like I have brought the Tennessee fall home with me! It has been great spending time with family, constant friends that have been in my life, and Mark. I am so blessed to have so many loving relationships in my life.
This time in my life is a very awkward time. I had lunch with Marianne and my sister yesterday, and I was telling them how I just don't fit in anywhere right now. I have no title as I once did as a high school or college student. I am not married nor do I have any children. I do not have the job that I went to school for, and thus am working at a few different places for now. I just don't fit in any catergory. I know that this happens to many college alumns. It is good for me to find my identity in other places-not in a title. I just need prayer right now. I need to be content with where I am, but not content enough to stop looking for what I want. I need to know that the things I am involved in right now are still shaping me towards the future and what God has for me. Most importantly, I must realize that even now I am doing God's work, even if it is not what I envisioned. He is faithful...I definately know that.
"For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus."
-Phil 1:5, NASB
Monday, August 06, 2007
Home.
I am now home from college after obtaining my bachelor degree and trying to find the path that God has for me. It is difficult venturing towards the unknown, but I will use this description that I keep in the files of my mind; it's like I have a blindfold on that will remain until I am ready to see what is beyond it. The clincher is this: God has my hand. No matter what is in front of me, around me, or in my past, God has been, is, and will be with me through my life. That is a very comforting feeling and realization.
Something that is difficult to believe is how the last five years of my life flew by. I started that journey with different dreams than I have now. The way my life is turning out is vastly different from what I always thought it would be. I always pictured myself as someone who would never settle down, but instead would travel and perform. I did not think that I would end up in West Michigan or anywhere really. I did not see myself as conventional or traditional but rather someone who was always looking for something new.
Now I dream of the conventional life, settling down, getting married, having children (eventually), and living close to the ones that I love and who have seen me through everything. Some people can live their lives in such a way where they never make roots. I want the roots that I have to grow. I guess in these last five years I have grown up some. I am the same person seeing life through eyes with much more life experience. I have been through much more, been given more responsibilities, learned how to budget better (thanks Mark), learned better time management, learned how to better prioritize, and more. I love making lists and checking things off of them; I actually get joy out of this. The big check that I cannot cross of my list is my finding a job in my field of study. This may remain on my list for a while, which I know is common. The inner part of me feels like I have failed myself, but at the same time, I know that I cannot rush where God wants me to be, especially if I or the place is not ready yet.
This is the prayer that I have for my life each day:
My purpose is to glorify God by drawing nearer to him each day, seeking out his will, having faith in the unknown, and trusting his plan for my life- even when times are difficult.
The truth is that God is the only one that will never let me down because his will is perfect. If I trust in him, I can say that I am putting my trust in everything.
God has given me so much to be thankful for; so in him, I give thanks.
Something that is difficult to believe is how the last five years of my life flew by. I started that journey with different dreams than I have now. The way my life is turning out is vastly different from what I always thought it would be. I always pictured myself as someone who would never settle down, but instead would travel and perform. I did not think that I would end up in West Michigan or anywhere really. I did not see myself as conventional or traditional but rather someone who was always looking for something new.
Now I dream of the conventional life, settling down, getting married, having children (eventually), and living close to the ones that I love and who have seen me through everything. Some people can live their lives in such a way where they never make roots. I want the roots that I have to grow. I guess in these last five years I have grown up some. I am the same person seeing life through eyes with much more life experience. I have been through much more, been given more responsibilities, learned how to budget better (thanks Mark), learned better time management, learned how to better prioritize, and more. I love making lists and checking things off of them; I actually get joy out of this. The big check that I cannot cross of my list is my finding a job in my field of study. This may remain on my list for a while, which I know is common. The inner part of me feels like I have failed myself, but at the same time, I know that I cannot rush where God wants me to be, especially if I or the place is not ready yet.
This is the prayer that I have for my life each day:
My purpose is to glorify God by drawing nearer to him each day, seeking out his will, having faith in the unknown, and trusting his plan for my life- even when times are difficult.
The truth is that God is the only one that will never let me down because his will is perfect. If I trust in him, I can say that I am putting my trust in everything.
God has given me so much to be thankful for; so in him, I give thanks.
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Our fallenness...
One way for me to blog more often is to copy what I am writing in class. I am taking a Johannine Literature class, and I love it! I have to write papers for mostly every class on my reading, and from time to time will post them on here. It has only been a week and a half since I started this class, but it has been such an encouragement to me already, and it is helping me to re-evaluate my own life; it is showing me where I am not putting God first in my life. What I wrote below is taken from 1 John 2:3-27.
"This is how we know we are in Him!"
1 John 2:3-27 is a passage which includes much encouragement to those who are believers of God, but is also one that includes a warning about those who are "antichrists." John drives the point home that we know God by keeping his commands. He elaborates on this much, and really wants the audience to understand this. Because we believe in God, we are changed; on the inside and outside. If there is no change in our lives, we were probably never believers in the first place. This is very important; we often fall and mess up in our lives, but when we do it over and over again, our motives are questioned. This is accented in verse 4, in which those who constantly are disobedient are called liars, and the truth is not in them. John is reminded the children of God of this, and how we are to constantly re-evaluate ourselves; making sure that we are living in God. When we keep God's commands, His love is completed in us!
One of the things that really struck me about this passage is how much our lives should be changed when God enters in. John is writing to a group of people who, as he encourages in verse 21, know the truth. He wanted them to be aware of themselves, but he was more concerned with them being aware of those who have gone out and denounced God. These are the people who walked in the same circles as them, but they did not really know God, the truth, or His fellowship. John was encouraging them for their persistence and standing firm in their faith, and he wanted them to continue with this. If they know the truth, why did he drive this point home so far? He did this because people are born with a sinful nature and can become tempted and fall very easily. He wanted those who knew the truth to continue living for God, and to be constantly aware of the change that has occurred in their lives. He did not want them to be content, but always seeking God and trying to become more like Him. Once we become content with ourselves, and think we are good enough, that is when it is easiest to fall.
"Any love that we have in God must find its origin in Him" -Daniel Akin
Question: Do we make the connection with the fact that loving God is not just a feeling or a spiritual thing; it is demonstrated by our actions? Have we forgotten that God demonstrated his love for us by sending His only son to become sin for us? I really think that is what John was trying to emphasize this as well. We want to know God, abide in God, and have fellowship with Him. We cannot even experience the fellowship and love of God without knowing Christ first! Believing in Christ is not just something we do on Sundays; it is loving God by keeping his commands daily. Love is an action word. Loving God is a testimony; if we are not following His commands daily, we are not showing Him our love, and thus, we were probably never believers in the first place.
"This is how we know we are in Him!"
1 John 2:3-27 is a passage which includes much encouragement to those who are believers of God, but is also one that includes a warning about those who are "antichrists." John drives the point home that we know God by keeping his commands. He elaborates on this much, and really wants the audience to understand this. Because we believe in God, we are changed; on the inside and outside. If there is no change in our lives, we were probably never believers in the first place. This is very important; we often fall and mess up in our lives, but when we do it over and over again, our motives are questioned. This is accented in verse 4, in which those who constantly are disobedient are called liars, and the truth is not in them. John is reminded the children of God of this, and how we are to constantly re-evaluate ourselves; making sure that we are living in God. When we keep God's commands, His love is completed in us!
One of the things that really struck me about this passage is how much our lives should be changed when God enters in. John is writing to a group of people who, as he encourages in verse 21, know the truth. He wanted them to be aware of themselves, but he was more concerned with them being aware of those who have gone out and denounced God. These are the people who walked in the same circles as them, but they did not really know God, the truth, or His fellowship. John was encouraging them for their persistence and standing firm in their faith, and he wanted them to continue with this. If they know the truth, why did he drive this point home so far? He did this because people are born with a sinful nature and can become tempted and fall very easily. He wanted those who knew the truth to continue living for God, and to be constantly aware of the change that has occurred in their lives. He did not want them to be content, but always seeking God and trying to become more like Him. Once we become content with ourselves, and think we are good enough, that is when it is easiest to fall.
"Any love that we have in God must find its origin in Him" -Daniel Akin
Question: Do we make the connection with the fact that loving God is not just a feeling or a spiritual thing; it is demonstrated by our actions? Have we forgotten that God demonstrated his love for us by sending His only son to become sin for us? I really think that is what John was trying to emphasize this as well. We want to know God, abide in God, and have fellowship with Him. We cannot even experience the fellowship and love of God without knowing Christ first! Believing in Christ is not just something we do on Sundays; it is loving God by keeping his commands daily. Love is an action word. Loving God is a testimony; if we are not following His commands daily, we are not showing Him our love, and thus, we were probably never believers in the first place.
Monday, September 18, 2006
Making a post so they don't cancel my account due to lack of use...
Well, I have not posted on here in some time, so I will update you all (if there's anyone left) on a few things.
The thing that lays on my mind constantly is the fact that my senior voice recital is in 24 days. It is coming up very quickly, and I am really excited and nervous about it. My family and Mark are all coming down, and they will finally see where I've been hiding all of these years. My hearing for my recital (where I sing in front of all of the music profs. to make sure that I'm ready) is a week from Thursday, and I have 3 new songs to learn and memorize before then. They are pretty easy, so it won't be too bad.
Today is 1 year since Mark and I started dating. It is interesting to me that before we dated, I couldn't imagine being in a relationship for a month, let alone a year. I have grown so much since dating him, learned a lot about myself (strengths and weaknesses), and God has shown me how blessed I really am. This happiness can only come from God and I really don't deserve it, but I am thankful.
I am getting ready to graduate this year! I have a lot to accomplish this year. I am taking 17 hours both semesters, testing out of 4 classes, and I keep busy with being an RA and working at Red Lobster. Being a music major also takes a lot of my time, but I know that I can get everything done, because God has given me so much strength so far. I know He will be with me as I continue forth and finish up. Then...who knows...
Speaking of being an RA, I absolutely love it! This is my first year (and last) doing this. I have 30 freshman, 12 upperclassmen, and 2 transfers in my building. I hope to become close to these girls and make it a ministry opportunity. God has grown me through this already, having to deal with things that I'm not very comfortable with, but it is good for me to get out of my comfort zone.
Well, that's it for now. Holla.
The thing that lays on my mind constantly is the fact that my senior voice recital is in 24 days. It is coming up very quickly, and I am really excited and nervous about it. My family and Mark are all coming down, and they will finally see where I've been hiding all of these years. My hearing for my recital (where I sing in front of all of the music profs. to make sure that I'm ready) is a week from Thursday, and I have 3 new songs to learn and memorize before then. They are pretty easy, so it won't be too bad.
Today is 1 year since Mark and I started dating. It is interesting to me that before we dated, I couldn't imagine being in a relationship for a month, let alone a year. I have grown so much since dating him, learned a lot about myself (strengths and weaknesses), and God has shown me how blessed I really am. This happiness can only come from God and I really don't deserve it, but I am thankful.
I am getting ready to graduate this year! I have a lot to accomplish this year. I am taking 17 hours both semesters, testing out of 4 classes, and I keep busy with being an RA and working at Red Lobster. Being a music major also takes a lot of my time, but I know that I can get everything done, because God has given me so much strength so far. I know He will be with me as I continue forth and finish up. Then...who knows...
Speaking of being an RA, I absolutely love it! This is my first year (and last) doing this. I have 30 freshman, 12 upperclassmen, and 2 transfers in my building. I hope to become close to these girls and make it a ministry opportunity. God has grown me through this already, having to deal with things that I'm not very comfortable with, but it is good for me to get out of my comfort zone.
Well, that's it for now. Holla.
Thursday, April 27, 2006
THUMBS UP THURSDAY!!!
Well, This is my first week doing "Thumbs Up Thursday." I'm pretty confident in the picture that I found. Let me know what you think!
Monday, February 27, 2006
Prayer
There is a girl who is a music major at my school, who is in all of the same choirs with me, who has suffered from vocal nodes since last semester. Because of this, she has not been able to sing this entire school year. She has been going to Vanderbildt for speech therapy, in hopes that they can help her, and that she can eventually fully recover and be able to sing again. Through countless visits, training, and no improvement, she was told that it is best for her not to even try to sing for a long time. Today, she got up in front of choir, and told us that she was dropping from all of the choirs. She tried not to cry, but the tears came anyway. Anyone could see how much she loved singing, and how much this hurt for her to do.
I think about how awful this is for her. This is something that she has done her entire life, and now she just has to quit. I think about this, and it really hits close to home for me. This is the very effect that could have happened to me last year, after my two surgeries. I think about the times soon after them that I tried to sing, and absolutely nothing would come out. I think about the times that I would sit at the piano and cry, because I could not sing along with the song I was playing. I think about how singing is the way that I worship God best, and that could have been taken away from me. I knew that my health came first, and the cancer had to be removed from me, but soon after, I felt a twinge of regret within me. I regretted finding the lump in my neck, I regretted getting it checked out, I regretted going back to the doctor right before I went back to school last spring, which is the reason we found out. I had just wished it all away, even though I knew something was wrong, I was not feeling well at all, and I could not just leave this alone. I regretted all of this because my 2nd love was gone....singing. Think about if I would have just left it alone. I would have been off a lot worse, and I probably wouldn't have had surgery...instead, lots of doses of chemotherapy from it spreading everywhere.
I realize that this is the path that God gave me. This testimony that I have now is incredible. Not only am I cancer-free, but I have rebuilt my voice pretty much back to where it was, besides the endurance. It is so much more to me now. It is a gift that I can still worship God in this way; it is a gift that I need to share with others, and it is something that I am called to do. I don't know how I'm going to be used, but I just want to do God's work...whatever that may be.
I think about this poor girl though....and where she is right now, and the fact that I can relate with her. I feel like it's not fair that I am able to sing and she is not. I feel like I can't even rejoice in the fact that I can. It's almost a hindrance to me. If you think about her, please pray for her. Her life is Job 1:21 right now: "The Lord gives and the Lord takes away; may the name of the Lord be praised."
That is such a difficult thing to do in trials.
I think about how awful this is for her. This is something that she has done her entire life, and now she just has to quit. I think about this, and it really hits close to home for me. This is the very effect that could have happened to me last year, after my two surgeries. I think about the times soon after them that I tried to sing, and absolutely nothing would come out. I think about the times that I would sit at the piano and cry, because I could not sing along with the song I was playing. I think about how singing is the way that I worship God best, and that could have been taken away from me. I knew that my health came first, and the cancer had to be removed from me, but soon after, I felt a twinge of regret within me. I regretted finding the lump in my neck, I regretted getting it checked out, I regretted going back to the doctor right before I went back to school last spring, which is the reason we found out. I had just wished it all away, even though I knew something was wrong, I was not feeling well at all, and I could not just leave this alone. I regretted all of this because my 2nd love was gone....singing. Think about if I would have just left it alone. I would have been off a lot worse, and I probably wouldn't have had surgery...instead, lots of doses of chemotherapy from it spreading everywhere.
I realize that this is the path that God gave me. This testimony that I have now is incredible. Not only am I cancer-free, but I have rebuilt my voice pretty much back to where it was, besides the endurance. It is so much more to me now. It is a gift that I can still worship God in this way; it is a gift that I need to share with others, and it is something that I am called to do. I don't know how I'm going to be used, but I just want to do God's work...whatever that may be.
I think about this poor girl though....and where she is right now, and the fact that I can relate with her. I feel like it's not fair that I am able to sing and she is not. I feel like I can't even rejoice in the fact that I can. It's almost a hindrance to me. If you think about her, please pray for her. Her life is Job 1:21 right now: "The Lord gives and the Lord takes away; may the name of the Lord be praised."
That is such a difficult thing to do in trials.
Sunday, February 12, 2006
It's my blog, I can vent if I want to...
A Vent:
28 Recitals this semester that I must attend. 28. Usually it's 19-20, but 28? I know that most music majors would be excited for the chance to go to this many, but I'm not a real one!!** I want to be able to work, spend time with my friends, and have time for homework for crying out loud! If that's not enough, my voice teacher scheduled studio classes for those in his voice studio that we must attend on Some Monday nights. No other voice teacher does this, and now, I have to give up Monday nights of work, because I am *supposedly* supposed to live and breathe music, and that's *supposed* to take over my full concentration. I am in 3 choirs, and we travel often to perform. I already knew that, but I didn't know that all this was going to be required of me this semester. Oh well...
"That's life, that's what all the people say..."-Frank Sinatra.
**Disclaimer**
The reason I say that I'm not a "real" music major, is because I am not a primarily classical music person. I do love it, but when I get out of college, I will probably never sing classical music again. I don't get music jokes, and I don't think they're funny. Therefore, I'm not a "real" music major.
28 Recitals this semester that I must attend. 28. Usually it's 19-20, but 28? I know that most music majors would be excited for the chance to go to this many, but I'm not a real one!!** I want to be able to work, spend time with my friends, and have time for homework for crying out loud! If that's not enough, my voice teacher scheduled studio classes for those in his voice studio that we must attend on Some Monday nights. No other voice teacher does this, and now, I have to give up Monday nights of work, because I am *supposedly* supposed to live and breathe music, and that's *supposed* to take over my full concentration. I am in 3 choirs, and we travel often to perform. I already knew that, but I didn't know that all this was going to be required of me this semester. Oh well...
"That's life, that's what all the people say..."-Frank Sinatra.
**Disclaimer**
The reason I say that I'm not a "real" music major, is because I am not a primarily classical music person. I do love it, but when I get out of college, I will probably never sing classical music again. I don't get music jokes, and I don't think they're funny. Therefore, I'm not a "real" music major.
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
You Alone
You are the only one I need
I bow all of me at your feet
I worship you alone
You have given me more
than I could ever have wanted
And I want to give you my heart and my soul
You alone are father
You alone are good
You alone are Savior
You alone are God
We sang this song at church this past Sunday. While we were singing it, I couldn't help but think about how this outlines the sovereignty of God.
He alone is our father-we need him, and he takes care of us.
He alone is good-there is no good without him..we are not "good people"
He alone is our Savior-because of His sacrifice, we have life
He alone is God-the one whom we are not worthy of, but the one who deserves our praise, our lives, and so much more.
Because of all this, He is the only one we need. We should be bowing down our lives at His feet, not just part of our lives, but the whole. He does not have to be our father, or our Savior, he does not have to be good to us and offer us a life with him. He has given us so much more than we deserve, and because of this, no other should be above Him; therefore, we worship Him alone.
The hard part is giving him my heart and soul---wholly. There are things in my life that are hard to give up sometimes, and in the back of my mind, I know I should, but it requires a lot of me. It is growing closer to God, and knowing that He will fulfill that part of my life with Him, in replacement of what was there. That is the sovereignty of God---giving my life to Him, because he is supreem and worthy of it, and deserves nothing less.
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
A long, needed update
Ok, so as you have all observed (if there are any of you left out there), I have not updated in such a long time, and my consistancy has been TERRIBLE. Hopefully I still have those of you out there who at least check to see if I've updated...well, here you go!
Things have been going really well here. I have been thinking about this semester lately, and this is kind of humorous. I have never wanted a semester to start more than this one, and I have never wanted a semester to end more than this one. I wanted it to start so badly because I missed it so much when I was out this past spring. I was ready to get back in the swing of things, get back on track to *eventually* graduate, see my friends, become more educated...I was longing for that. It's so weird what one semester away can do. I missed so much last semester. When people talk about things that happen, the inside jokes, all that--they assume I know about them, then they slowly realize that I wasn't here. Then I make some joke about how I couldn't be here because I had cancer...GOSH!! Obviously, I had no choice in the matter of being at school, but there's so much I missed, and sometimes I feel segregated because of the times, experiences, laughs...that I missed. With all that, I was ready to get back, to see my friends..and I'm so glad that I did.
NOW....I am ready for this semester to be OVER!!! Don't get me wrong-I love being here, living amongst college students, having that FREEDOM of coming and going whenever, not having to check in, knowing that the choices that I make will be good even though I may be out late...It's nice. But, this is the HARDEST semester that I have ever had. My workload is much. I live in the library, the Christian studies department, and the music department. I have enjoyed getting into my Christian studies courses, because I have learned so many valuable and applicable things in them. I need rest though. I need time away, to get on track. I started the semester trying to stay ahead, and now I cannot get caught up, it seems. When I came back after Thanksgiving break, I felt very rested. I walked into a voice lesson without warming up (which is bad...I usually need AT LEAST a 15 minute warm-up, especially since my surgeries) and my voice responded instantly. I didn't sing at all while I was home. I gave my voice a break, and it was very worthwhile. Sometimes when we step away from things and come back into them later, we do better than if we were to constantly be at it, practicing, reviewing...what have you. Plus, I have to sing a lot in the next two weeks, so any rest I can give my voice is good.
I cannot believe that next week is the last week of classes. Although I have been wanting this semester to be over, it has flown by. Where in the world did November go? I often say that I love school, except for classes get in the way of enjoying it. That is why the first couple weeks of the semester are my favorite, because there is not much going on, and I can enjoy the company of my friends without being stressed. I love it.
Well..hopefully there's more to come. I will update amid the madness.
Things have been going really well here. I have been thinking about this semester lately, and this is kind of humorous. I have never wanted a semester to start more than this one, and I have never wanted a semester to end more than this one. I wanted it to start so badly because I missed it so much when I was out this past spring. I was ready to get back in the swing of things, get back on track to *eventually* graduate, see my friends, become more educated...I was longing for that. It's so weird what one semester away can do. I missed so much last semester. When people talk about things that happen, the inside jokes, all that--they assume I know about them, then they slowly realize that I wasn't here. Then I make some joke about how I couldn't be here because I had cancer...GOSH!! Obviously, I had no choice in the matter of being at school, but there's so much I missed, and sometimes I feel segregated because of the times, experiences, laughs...that I missed. With all that, I was ready to get back, to see my friends..and I'm so glad that I did.
NOW....I am ready for this semester to be OVER!!! Don't get me wrong-I love being here, living amongst college students, having that FREEDOM of coming and going whenever, not having to check in, knowing that the choices that I make will be good even though I may be out late...It's nice. But, this is the HARDEST semester that I have ever had. My workload is much. I live in the library, the Christian studies department, and the music department. I have enjoyed getting into my Christian studies courses, because I have learned so many valuable and applicable things in them. I need rest though. I need time away, to get on track. I started the semester trying to stay ahead, and now I cannot get caught up, it seems. When I came back after Thanksgiving break, I felt very rested. I walked into a voice lesson without warming up (which is bad...I usually need AT LEAST a 15 minute warm-up, especially since my surgeries) and my voice responded instantly. I didn't sing at all while I was home. I gave my voice a break, and it was very worthwhile. Sometimes when we step away from things and come back into them later, we do better than if we were to constantly be at it, practicing, reviewing...what have you. Plus, I have to sing a lot in the next two weeks, so any rest I can give my voice is good.
I cannot believe that next week is the last week of classes. Although I have been wanting this semester to be over, it has flown by. Where in the world did November go? I often say that I love school, except for classes get in the way of enjoying it. That is why the first couple weeks of the semester are my favorite, because there is not much going on, and I can enjoy the company of my friends without being stressed. I love it.
Well..hopefully there's more to come. I will update amid the madness.
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